Tragically Beautiful

Chapter 32: The Hardest Thing

"What do you mean?" I ask him through the door, and there's a long pause before he clears his throat again.

"He.. he came in here right after you got into the shower, while everyone was fighting. That's when Louis told him you were upstairs.. I tried to make sure he didn't leave my sight, but Iris and I were-"

"Wait, did you say Iris was downstairs when he came up here?"

"Yeah, we were talking about.."

I don't hear anything after that; all I can hear is my uncontrollable heartbeat thumping madly in my ears and Harry's hurried words echoing off the walls of my mind. He had used Iris as an excuse to come in and see me, but why? Did he just want to see me? Did he want to talk?

He probably just wanted to see you naked, my subconscious taunts me, and even though the words sting, I can't entirely disagree with the truth behind her words.

"Ally?"

I had almost forgotten that Carter was still here, I had been too busy obsessing over Harry for what seems like the millionth time in the last two weeks of my life. I mentally slap myself back into focus, pushing all my thoughts of Harry into the back of my mind. I promised myself I wouldn't forgive Harry easily, that I'd make him hurt the same way he hurt me, and I was not about to break that promise.

"Yes?" I finally answer him as I emerge from the bathroom, toweling off my damp hair and wrapping it on top of my head.

"Erm, well, now that Harry's here, I just wanted to know if I should get our stuff together and bring it out to the car, you know, so we'll be ready to leave first thing tomorrow."

"We can't leave, we don't have our own car," I tell him, but his hand gestures to the door, and I am surprised to see Iris is standing there with a friendly but cautious smile on her lips, bags in her hands.

"Iris offered to take us back."

It was probably best for me if we left; it wasn't good for me to spend the weekend with the boy who had broken my heart, the boy who I was trying to move on from. With him around, my objective of having a relaxing getaway would surely turn to shit. But for some reason, a small part of me was screaming, begging me not to leave. The voice filled my head with tiny slivers of hope, hope that if I stayed, maybe he'd talk to me, and maybe he'd finally reciprocate the three words I had been dying to hear. Maybe that was why he had come here, to tell me that he felt the same way too.

I suddenly realize how pathetic I sound to myself; Harry is incapable of loving someone, and I had to keep drilling that into my head. I had known from the very beginning, and I had no one to blame but myself. I had to try and move on from this.

But no matter how hard I try to forget about him and all the perfect moments we had spent together, he had stolen a piece of my heart, and in its place, he had given a part of his to me so that I would always carry him with me.

And whether I liked it or not, I would never be able to steal that piece back.

I give them both a small reassuring smile as I step forward, taking in long, drawled breath.

"I really appreciate the offer," I thank Iris, and she returns my gratitude with a polite smile and a nod, "but.. I'm going to stay. Like Iris said, I can't let him keep me from having my fun, and besides.. I have you guys."

The small smile adorning Iris's lips breaks into a wide grin as she throws her arms around me, trapping me in a tight embrace.

"Ally, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, I should have warned you and I-"

"I know why you did it, it's alright. I just kind of lost my shit there for a second, with Lyla," I joke, earning a laugh from both Carter and Iris.