Once Around the Carousel

Chapter Twenty-Six

Even as the world heaped ever more onto her decidedly slight shoulders – the school year ending, her first kiss, and above all, protecting Sharon – Linda continued taking care of her father. She kept their house neat and fresh; his clothes clean and pressed, and cooked him dinner. Which once the summer began and Sharon became a fixture at their small kitchen table, the three of them ate together with laughter reminiscent of the drives that once highlighted his week. The only nights Linda didn't cook were when her father worked late or told her he planned to go out after work. Virtually unknown in the past, his socializing with 'people from work', or 'old friends', became frequent enough that she grew to expect it. Linda knew what her father did. Regardless of what he told her, Linda assumed he was spending time with his girlfriend instead of coming home. But they didn't discuss it.

By late June, Ed started feeling pressure. He'd promised to have a talk with Linda since before school ended. The time just never seemed right. After Gloria and Arthur died, Ed had spoken to Linda's guidance counselor, Mrs. Giancarlo. She told him the most important things he could provide Linda with were a loving atmosphere and, above all else, stability. He'd taken her advice to heart and used it to justify his hesitance. However, life laid an ultimatum at his feet, and he could no longer put off the conversation. When Ed finally convinced himself the day had arrived, he obsessed over it on his drive home, wondering how to tell his daughter their lives would again be changing.

By the time he walked in the door, Ed had worked himself into a bit of flap. He found his daughter in the kitchen, happily cooking dinner. She looked up, donning the maroon and white striped apron she wore mainly as a precaution. As she did everything in life, Linda cooked with great care.

Stirring a pot of beef stroganoff, Linda gave her father a big smile. However, it faded as she recognized his dour look and heard the tone of his voice. "Linny, can you set that aside for a minute," he told her, in place of his usual comments about how good dinner smelled. "There's something I need to speak to you about."

Linda's mind immediately sprung to the idea that her father had discovered something about Sharon, and she prepared for the worst. For the most part, the girls had found it easier to ignore the obvious issues hanging over them. Instead, they talked about more comfortable topics, like what they would wear to the beach the next day or if something terrible had really happened to Paul. And, of course, they fantasized endlessly about their exit from Metuchin. Even if they didn't talk about it, Linda pondered the questions about Sharon living with them that would inevitably arise at the end of the summer.

Sharon hadn't called home in the weeks since they rode away from the MacCalaster's house. Her mother tried calling Linda's twice. Both times, Linda told Mrs. MacCalaster her daughter was safe and coldly asked if anything else mattered. Perrin's fear of anyone finding out what her husband had done left her with little in the way of a rebuttal. Through a quivering voice, she asked Linda to tell Sharon that she missed her but stopped short of begging her daughter to come to the phone.

Julia Lempke, a friend of the girls who lived in the MacCalaster's neighborhood, told them Bob's Cadillac hadn't been there in weeks and asked Sharon why her mother never seemed to leave the house. The idea tore at Sharon. She pictured her mother withering away, all alone in their big house. But she pushed the thoughts away using the skills she'd finely honed over the last two years.

Ed saw Sharon planted in Arthur's favorite TV-watching spot on the living room floor, so taking Linda by the hand, they went to his room. Ed sat his daughter on the edge of his bed, took a deep breath, and began by telling her how much he'd loved Gloria. Linda knew what was coming and sat nodding, waiting for him to come out and say it.

Finally, Linda couldn't stand her father's fumbling along and, like completing a sentence for a stutterer, said it for him. "Are you trying to tell me you're getting married?" she spat out, making it sound like the most distasteful thing in the world.