Once Around the Carousel

Chapter Two

"Oh, is that all?" Gloria sighed. "I thought you'd fallen again. You know how I hate driving in this weather. The last thing I want to do is take you to that damned hospital."

"It's from Sharon, Momma. Remember, my friend from last summer," Linda said, knowing her mother's late afternoon memory often needed prompting. "She's coming to stay here. Her parents got a cottage for the whole summer."

"That's nice, Linny. I'm sure that will be fun for them."

"It's going to be fun. Sharon's going to be here all summer. I'm going to write her a letter right now."

"You do that, Linny," her mother said, walking back to the kitchen.

When Sharon arrived for her third summer, she and Linda were ecstatic. They swam together, ate together, and after a few days, conditioned their parents, so they slept together at the MacCalaster's cottage and even started spending some nights at Linda's. They lived in their bathing suits, covering them with oversized T-shirts just like the teenagers. Except theirs, being five sizes too big, hung down to their knees. Their dirty little feet barely saw the inside of shoes all summer, and as their skin got darker, their hair, especially Sharon's golden brown, grew lighter. They were the cutest pair of bums any beach ever had the privilege of hosting, and very possibly, the most content. Their only separation came on weekends when Sharon's father arrived from Hartford.

At 6' 3", Bob MacCalaster cut an imposing figure. Naturally athletic with powerful arms and tight abs, he kept his hair loosely slicked back and always stayed clean-shaven. His slate-blue eyes cast emotions ranging from anger to happiness, pleasure to annoyance; however, compassion and mercy lay well outside their repertoire. Bob balanced this physical image with an outgoing personality and an ability to make everyone in the room believe he was firmly on their side.

On the weekends, he insisted on spending time with "just his Princess." Sharon hated being separated from Linda but never said no to her father. She understood how much he did for the family (a fact he continually reinforced) and believed her only real responsibility in life was to make him happy. And as the summer progressed, her ability to make him happy took on an all-new role.

After Bob skipped coming down one weekend in June and twice in July, Sharon started working herself into tears during his nightly calls, making him promise to be there on the weekend. Her tactic worked, and Sharon's persuasion pulled Bob from straying too far outside the family nucleus.

The outbursts drew encouragement from her mother. Often, Perrin MacCalaster told her daughter to "make sure Daddy knows how much you want him to be here this weekend."

As useful as it was, Sharon's act ran in opposition to Perrin's general messaging of acceptable emotional displays. Joy, delight, and happiness all fell into the category of suitable feelings. Negative feelings she told her children were inappropriate. "Remember, if you're angry or sad, keep it inside, and all those bad feelings will wither and die." Her suppression strategy appeared to work, and everyone agreed the MacCalasters were living the American dream.

In 1966, the MacCalasters certainly struck the pose as the flawless family, and Bob MacCalaster the perfect husband and father. He'd attended Penn State on a football scholarship, where he met Perrin Palmer, captain of the cheerleading squad. Their marriage fulfilled the most ardent Cold Warrior's vision of the American dream. The summer after graduation, the happy couple settled down to life in Hartford - Bob going to work for an insurance company while Perrin produced and cared for their children.

Bob, the personable, good-looking ex-football player, scaled the corporate ladder two rungs at a time. Unfortunately, as his responsibilities increased, so did his time away from the family. But, it all balanced out in Bob's accounting. He provided for his family and, when together, made an effort to prove he cared. If traveling for a couple of extra days, he brought home presents for the kids; and when he forgot to call or realized guilt should be tormenting him, Perrin got flowers or a piece of jewelry.