Illicit | 𝘚𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘶𝘴 𝘉𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬

Chapter 25

Regulus cleared his throat, "But I can always try," he added softly, more to himself than to Eleanor. She could hear the pain in his voice, but she just wondered why it was there. She was going to have to be careful with this because it could easily ruin their friendship.

Eleanor turned in her chair to face him properly. "I know it's none of business, but why does Sirius- hate you so much?" she asked cautiously. 

Regulus sighed deeply, shrugged, and shook his head. "I wouldn't know for the life of me," he said, briefly looking into her eyes. Eleanor diverted her gaze shortly and then looked back up at him. She knew what had to be done, and now was the time to do it.

"It's not your fault," she whispered. 

Regulus frowned slightly. "I know it's not my fault, but I just-"

"It's not your fault," she whispered again, still looking at him. His eyes roamed her face and he shook his head.

Eleanor put a hand on his shoulder. She felt his body tense up. "Reg, it's not your fault," she looked up at him.

And then it happened. The wall he had built up around himself for protection had finally broken down as tears started to roll down his cheeks. He wasn't sobbing like crazy, though. He had just hit a point of realization, and it hurt. He propped one elbow up on the desk and leaned his head in his hand. 

Regulus wiped away some of his tears. "I just- I just don't understand what I ever did to him," he breathed. Eleanor rubbed her thumb over his shoulder for comfort.

"I always tried to be there for him, but he just never wanted me to," he said sounding helpless. Eleanor nodded to show she understood his frustrations. But he wasn't done yet. 

"And then, when he left he didn't even tell me. One morning h-he was just gone," his voice cracked mid-sentence. "The first time I saw him again was here, at Hogwarts," he added in a whisper. Wow. That's just cruel.

Regulus inhaled through his nose and looked at her again. "How did you do that," he said with a slight chuckle. Eleanor laughed softly and looked down.

"You needed it," she said and squeezed his shoulder. Regulus nodded and started to pack his stuff. Eleanor did the same thing. They both didn't feel like studying anymore, and it was close to dinner time anyway.

Regulus and Eleanor got up, hung their bags around their shoulder, and left the Library. They didn't speak while they were walking, but Eleanor did not mind. She didn't know what to say either way. When they reached the doors to the Great Hall Eleanor automatically turned right to enter, but Regulus grabbed her wrist.

"Thank you," he said, looking straight at her. Eleanor felt like his cold, grey eyes could see right into her soul; they always did.

She smiled and said, "Any time." Regulus nodded, let go of her, and walked on. He was probably going to their common room first, he always did before dinner.

Eleanor proceeded to walk into the Great Hall and was surprised to find Peter there, sitting all by himself. She furrowed her eyebrows and took a seat across from him.

"Hey Pete," she smiled at him. He smiled back at her. "Why are you on your own?" she asked while pouring some tomato soup into her bowl.

"I went to see Remus," he said nervously, "James and Sirius had to er- do something else." He quickly took a sip from his goblet. Eleanor frowned slightly but decided to let the matter go.

They continued to eat in silence until James and Sirius joined them after about ten minutes. James sat down next to her and Sirius next to Peter.

"Fancy seeing you here Ella," James smiled at her. Eleanor forced a quick smile and put some food onto her plate. Sirius didn't say anything but just helped himself to some food as well. James raised his eyebrows and breathed a quick 'OK'. They all resumed eating.

"So you guys ready for tonight?" James asked with his mouth full. Eleanor almost dropped her fork as those words sank in. She had completely forgotten about that. Peter and Sirius were nodding eagerly, but Eleanor closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Peter frowned. "Something wrong Ella?" he asked sounding a bit concerned.

She shook her head. "No, it had just slipped my mind. Long day," she said with a sigh and then continued eating.

The others joined them not long after. They all sat together and talked about things like classes, school work, and teachers. Nothing interesting, and Eleanor wasn't really a part of any of those conversations. All she could think about was what was going to happen that night, the first time they would accompany Remus during a full moon.