Can i love you ?

9

I could feel her gaze burning into my back, but I was too afraid to turn around. I knew that if I did, there would be no escaping. Her gaze filled me with apprehension. But perhaps it was all just my speculation? Maybe it wasn't as serious for her? Maybe there was no point in getting myself worked up?

As I bid farewell and headed straight for the coatroom, someone called out to me, and this time my fear turned out to be justified. I would recognize her voice anywhere. I froze, contemplating whether I should turn or run away. It wasn't the right thing to do, but I didn't want to feel the pain anymore.

"Kim Yoohyeon, wait a minute," she shouted, restraining her anger, well aware that I had no intention of waiting even a minute.

But I remained frozen. Something compelled me to yield to this woman. Something that my mind couldn't control.

I could hear the familiar sound of her heels clicking, growing louder as she approached, but I couldn't run or turn around. All my strength was focused on holding back tears, an unending stream of tears filled with confusion, resentment, and hope. After all, hope would reside in my heart until we had a chance to talk, or so it seemed.

I wouldn't cry in front of her. I wouldn't show her how weak I felt or how much it hurt. Not this time.

"Why didn't you come to my class?" she asked, her voice quiet yet firm, as I kept my eyes fixed on the floor.

"I'm not feeling well," I answered softly.

"Something tells me that sick people should stay at home. With frequent illnesses, you won't pass the exam," she responded rudely and confidently.

"I know," I replied, my voice just as soft, hoping to escape from her piercing gaze.

She didn't say anything more. There was a sense that she wanted to say something but remained silent. This seemingly ordinary exchange only deepened the pain. It hurt not from her words but from the coldness in her voice, the indifference.

I didn't say anything either. I quickly got dressed without turning around, afraid to face her, and unable to hold back my tears, I left.

On the street, I tried to suppress my tears, but I didn't have enough strength. I cried as I made my way home, and even after reaching my place, the tears continued to flow. There was a thought of calling Siyeon, but I refrained. Perhaps not this time.

I stayed at home for the remainder of the week.

Many times, I struggled to hold back the urge to write or call Miss Minji. However, I had nothing to say or ask her, and yet being so far away from her felt unbearable.

Minji's pov:

How difficult it is to come home from work. Everything feels challenging, and the difficulties seem to accumulate. I'm at a loss about what to do. The most significant difficulty began a week ago. What am I doing? Why am I doing it? I don't even have the answers to these questions.

I've admitted to myself that I want to be closer to her. It's hard for me to admit it, being an adult who can't take responsibility for her own actions.

Why did I kiss her? It's foolish to deny that I initiated it. It's foolish to be angry at her reaction: the shock and confusion. How would I react if I were kissed by a woman ten years older than me when I'm in my twenties? Why am I surprised? I think I frightened her. Or perhaps I'm more frightened myself. But looking back, my own behavior seems ridiculous. I ran away like a fifth-grader who was kissed by a high school student, even though in this case, I'm more like the high school student than Yoohyeon.

Since that incident, she hasn't appeared at the university. It's foolish of her. And honestly, it makes me reflect. I thought she was more mature, but she manages to balance her personal life with her studies, even at the age of around twenty.