Gentlemen Only

Make Like a Tree

Now she knew she would take back her life, starting with where it all began. It had been ages, years, since she visited home. Her blue eyes trained on their image in the mirror, shining with a newfound determination that was uncharacteristically Meredith. Home would give her closure.

A brief flicker of doubt eased through her resolve and she shook her head determinedly, riding her consciousness of the feeling. Never again, she vowed, as she stared at herself, imagining her body pressed up against his, ignoring the fact that it would never be.

The incessant buzzing of her phone vibrating jerked her out of her daydream. She scowled, pulling on a lacy red bra and cheeky panties. Her long, awkward limbs carried her to the bedside table where her phone was alight with activity. The caller ID indicated it was Jet.

She debated whether or not to answer it. On the one hand, he probably needed her to help with their new assignment, but on the other, she had no desire to speak with him anytime soon. The longer she stared at the bright screen, the more her ears heard the continuous buzz as the small device vibrated on the table, the greater her need to pick it up became. After an agonizingly long minute, her hand darted out of its own accord and swiped to answer.

"Hello." Her voice came out gravely from lack of use. She had no idea how long it was since she'd spoken to another human being: in fact, she had no clue what day it was, but she gathered, based on the number of voicemails Jet left, that it must be a workday.

"Meredith..." His voice came across the line so smooth and deep that she thought she might run right into his arms, should he ask. But he didn't.

"You're ok?" It was more a question than statement, but she heard the relief in his tone.

"I'm fine, Jet." Her voice was so waspish that it made herself flinch with the harshness of it.

"Good." He cleared his throat. She desperately wished she could see his face, see what he was feeling in that moment.

Silence permeated the moment. Meredith didn't speak, for fear she would say something untoward.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, Jet spoke, his sexy voice leaving an ache in her bones that almost hurt. "I-I miss you, Mer."

Tears threatened to spill from her tightly closed lids. "Don't." Her voice trembled, all the bravado she had built quickly crumbling like old ruins. "You don't have the right, not anymore."

"I'm so so sorry I hurt you." His voice cracked, and for a moment she imagined he was hurting.

"You did hurt me, terribly." She forced the words out, afraid they would betray how much she liked him. "I have to go, Jet."

"Where?" He sounded shocked, desperate even.

Meredith squeezed her eyes shut tightly, willing her aching heart to quiet. Despite her resolve, her anger was fading just by hearing the forlorn sound of his voice. She had no intention of divulging her plan, but instead found herself croaking out " to my mother's."

" The mother who abandoned you?" Jet asked lowly, though not maliciously.

" Yes." Meredith swallowed, holding back tears. " Thanks for reminding me."

"That's not what I meant." Jet sighed and Meredith imagined him running his hand through his dark hair.

" What did you mean then?" Meredith bristled, memories of his touch flooding her mind. "You have a lot in common with her."

Jet flinched on the other end of the line. She was right; it was like the pot calling the kettle black, and very uncouth of him to bring up Meredith's past with her mother, especially after what he did to her.

"I just don't want you to get hurt." He murmured.

"I'm use to it." Meredith whispered, shutting her eyes tightly to ward off the tears that welled up as her heart squeezed with sadness. "That's all anyone does. Hurt me."

"Then why go back?"

Meredith thought for a moment, finally coming to a half cocked conclusion. "If I want to move forward I need to start by understanding my past."

"You'll just get your feelings hurt, Mer." Jet warned.

"Like how you hurt me?" She blurted, subconsciously allowing her angr to build protective walls around her heart. "You have no right, Jet Bianchi. You're all the same. The moment somebody isn't perfect or is the least bit different, they get forgotten. I should have never let myself have feelings for you. I knew my anxiety disorder would scare you away."

"That's not what happened!" Jet shouted. "You have to give me a chance to explain."

Meredith's stomach churned with anxiety. "No I don't. You had time to explain."

"I...I can't yet." Jet replied weakly.

A long silence fell on the conversation. Meredith's mind was whirring at warp speed in an attempt to process everything that happened between them. As she pondered what was going wrong in her life, it became clearer that her intuition was right: she would go back home, back to where it started.

"Then I have no choice." She whispered, gazing sadly at the open suitcase by her dresser. "I'm going home."

"But I need you here Meredith," Jet pleaded, "To help on the Moretti case."

Meredith shook her head, though he couldn't see it. "Not yet, Jet. You'll get by without me for awhile."

"But Mer-"

"Goodbye, Mr. Bianchi." She said stiffly, hand shaking as she ended the call.

It was wet with tears she didn't know she shed.

**What do you guys think? Is Meredith right to leave? Let me know!**