Red vs Blue x Male OC / Season 4

S4 • E18 - Things are looking down

Grif: "Sarge, I have great news. Looks like you're gonna get your plans after all. And I'm not gonna have to do any more running. So everybody wins."

Simmons: "What about me? I didn't win anything."

Grif: "Oh don't worry about it, I'm sure there'll be somebody's ass you can kiss."

Shadow: "And me?"

Grif: "My guess? Hang out with the blues again."

Cut to Church and Doc on Blue Base looking down at the camera.

Church: "Andy this is Doc, Doc this is Andy. Uh Andy, Doc is uh he's here to help Tucker. And he's also our worst enemy. You know- besides the Reds. And, Tex on, certain days." (Gets smacked by Ash) "Ow!"

O'Malley: "Well thank you for introducing me to your bowling ball... hello bowling ball."

Andy: "Actually, I'm a bomb."

O'Malley: "It can talk?"

Andy: "Why is that the first thing everybody says to me?"

O'Malley: "A talking bomb, you say... Hmm I could use a fellow like you in my organization."

Ash: "Yeah, we should probably point out that Andy here was specifically designed to blow up and kill you."

O'Malley: "I see... Well this is certainly awkward."

Andy: "KABOOM!"

O'Malley hurriedly backs up.

O'Malley: "Satan's bunyon!"

Andy: "Hah hah hah hah, heh, I was just kidding. I didn't really explode. Hahahahaha."

Church: "Heh heh, good one."

O'Malley: "Yes, highly amusing."

Cut back to the Reds, who have caught up with Donut and Lopez.

Shadow: "...Uh I'm not the only one seeing a talking head right?"

Sarge: "Lopez? Donut, where did you find him?"

Donut: "Right here."

Simmons: "How were you two talking? Lopez, do you speak English now?"

Lopez: "No." [No.]

Grif: "Well if he doesn't then why did he just say no in English? Busted."

Donut: "I took four years of high school Spanish. That's the best way to learn any language."

Sarge: "What've you two been talkin' about?"

Donut: "Oh, the usual Spanish fare. I told him my name, I asked him what his name was, I asked if he knew where the bathroom was, how much a ticket for the train costs, and I asked him for the cheque."

Lopez: "Por favor haz que el hombre rosado pare de hablar conmigo." [Please make the pink one stop talking to me.]

Sarge: "Ask him where he's been, no- ask him where he's going, wait- ask him if he has our secret plans. And if he missed me."

Donut: "¿Lopez, que es el tiempo? Voy a ir a la playa con mi primo quiere jugar a tenis. Yo comido un lápiz. Adios!" [Lopez, do you know what time it is? I am going to the beach with my cousin who likes to play tennis. I ate a pencil.]

Lopez: "..."

Donut: "Hmm, looks like he's not talkin' Sarge."

Sarge: "Allrright he wants to play tough, uh? I built in override codes for just such an event. Lopez! Give me root access, priority Delta One!"

Lopez: "Prioridad de Acceso solicitado. Por favor, indique el Código de Acceso." [Priority Access requested. Please state the Access Code.]

Sarge: "The Access Code is... access code."

Simmons/Shadow: "Oh you've gotta be fucking kidding me."

Sarge: "Ah, bitch about it later."

Lopez: "Código de Acceso aceptado. Saludos Sargento, ¿le gustaría jugar un...?" [Access Code accepted. Greetings Sarge, would you like to play a...]

Sarge: "Lopez, replay the intel message from Command."

Lopez: "OK." [OK.]

Grif: "See, okay, now I'm telling you this guy's faking."

Vic: "Hola hola. ¿Pueden escucharme? Hola." [Hello, hello. Can you hear me? Hello.]

Vic: "Hola hombres de Gulch Sangrosa, gracias por la información, muy provechosa." [Hey Blood Gulch Dudes, thanks for the information, very helpful.]

Shadow: "Oh come on, the recording is in Spanish?!

Grif: "That doesn't even make any sense!"

Simmons: "This guy sounds just like the guy the Blues were talking to, Vic Junior.

Shadow: (Nods) "Yeah you're right."

Simmons: "I'll bet his kids changed sides."

Vic: (continuing in Spanish) "After analyzing the data you provided..."

Sarge: "Eggs Benedict Arnold, those dirty traitors. No offense Simmons."

Simmons: "None taken, sir."

Sarge: "Traitor."

Simmons: "God dammit."

Vic: "...we have calculated a fool-proof plan for winning the war."

Donut: "Wait, how does Vic have kids? I thought he had a vasectomy."

Everyone looks at Donut, and even the recording pauses.

Donut: "Well that's just what I heard."

The recording then counties as their talk drowns it out.

Sarge: "We've got to figure out what he's saying. Donut, can you translate or can't you?"

Donut: "Uh I think he's saying something about losing his passport."

Simmons: "Well, when I was in Blue Base, Church mentioned they built a translation device out of an old bomb."

Sarge: "E-Gads, no doubt to decipher their plans to destroy us! If we don't translate the tactical plans Lopez is saying, we're all doomed!"

Sarge: "That information could save our very lives!"

Simmons: "Why don't we sneak in to Blue Base, grab the translation device, and use it on our message?"

Sarge: "I agree."

Grif: "Let us get this straight: We're going to steal a bomb from our enemies."

Shadow: "A bomb that can be remotely detonated I might add.

Grif: "And then we're gonna bring it back to our base, and all huddle around it. What a great plan.

Simmons: "Well sure, it sounds stupid when you say it like that."

Shadow: "That's because it is stupid!"

Sarge: "Go on, let's move. Somebody grab Lopez's cabeza."

Donut: "Of course."

Sarge: "That's not the cabeza Donut... "

Grif: (Backs alway) "Hey!"

Sarge: "And that's not Lopez!"