It Should've Been You: Book One

Hazel

His smile turns wide and it's like I'm looking at a child. "Really?! How cool! I always admire people who go into the medical field. My sister is in it, too! Maybe you know her!"

I've never liked people that are too excited for no reason but this guy makes me laugh with his excited expressions. "What's her name?"

He opens his mouth but stops when he hears his phone ring. His expression turns serious and it makes him look older. "I'm sorry. I have to take this."

"Please," I say as I gesture for him to go ahead and answer. He stands and walks towards a shelf of books and disappears.

Huh. What an odd and yet funny guy.

My phone buzzes as well and I see Madds' number on it. Let me guess. Her car is down again or she forgot something in our room. I smile and answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey. Hazel?"

"Hey, Madds. What's up? Your car isn't working again?"

"Um no. There's someone here looking for you? She says that she knows you. Should I let her in?"

"In where? Where are you?" My heart starts to pace. No. It can't be.

"Um. I'm in our room." Madds sounds awkward. Of course, she is. I know who's there.

"I'm on my way. Don't let her in."

"Um. Okay. Do I tell her to leave or do I stay here with--"

"Just stay put. Don't let her in." I hang up and start to pack my stuff. Anger flares up through my veins and tears start to well up in my eyes.

As I leave the book on the table, I can hear the boy come back but I'm already towards the exit.

"Hey! Where are you going?" People around him shush him or frown, but he doesn't seem to care as his worried eyes stay on me.

I turn once I'm opening the door and think of something to say. No. I have too many things to say but they're all for my mother. So I turn around and leave without a word.

I arrive at our floor and my blood boils when I see her standing there. Madds seems relieved when she sees me arrive, but I ignore whatever she's trying to tell me. I angrily burn my eyes at my mother as I say, "What are you doing here?"

Madds tries to say something but she's interrupted as my mother angrily says, "What the hell, Hazel?! I don't even know if you're alive! I had to come here to see that you're alive! Why haven't you responded to any of my messages or phone calls?!"

"Did it cross your mind that maybe I don't want to talk to you? What do you want?"

"I wanted to see you."

"You saw me. Now get out."

Her eyes carry pain but she lets anger take over as she says, "Don't you talk to your mother like that!"

"Mother?!" Madds says but we ignore her as I point at my mother.

"You have no right to say that. I don't even know why you even care! I did all of this from my own hard work!"

"I am still your mother!"

Luckily, no one seems to be around as I walk into my room. She follows close behind as she pushes Madds to the side. This makes me angrier and I say, "Get out! I don't want you here!"

My mother stops in her tracks and tears flow down her cheeks. "Fine. But if you kick me out, I will never come back. You figure out how to live. Forget that you have a mother!"

"Fine!" I say with my own tears streaming down. "I've done just fine without you since Dad left!" Her eyes harden and it's like I'm looking at my father turn around, and slam the door.

The room falls silent and embarrassment makes my face red as Madds clears her throat. She stands from her desk and carefully says, "Are...I'm...I'm sorry I was here. I tried to leave--"

I ignore her once again as my heart breaks and I start towards the door.

"Woah hey. Where are you going?"

My hand trembles as I try to turn the knob and she quickly stops me. "Hey. Don't go. You're upset and you can...I don't want you to get hurt."

"It doesn't matter," I angrily say as I finally open the door.

"It matters to me." I stop and turn around to see her standing by the door frame. Her hazel eyes showed genuine worry for me. "You matter to me, Hazel. Just...come in here, okay? You don't have to talk about it. Just...don't go."

My lips quiver and I slowly walk back in. The moment she closes the door, I let her wrap her arms around me and I break. I don't hold it in anymore as I realize that I don't have a family. And it's all my fault. It's always been my fault from the start...