Any Other Name

Chapter 20

But by the time she got to the stairs, River pressing her weight against Eliza's thigh when she wavered, she wasn't quite so sure. She was still uneasy about facing these stairs, the pain ghosting over her skin, the panic tugging in her mind. If she tried to leave, if she told Marshall beforehand, he'd make sure she could never leave.

River started to howl quietly and it made Eliza smile. She was going to call Tesey at the very least. And she would do it now.

He picked up on the fifth ring. "Tesey Summers speaking."

The nerves that had been building since she found his name in the contact list seemed to explode out of proportion. "Uhm, hi, Tesey."

"Anne?"

She couldn't help but smile sheepishly at the name. She realized she would have to tell him her real name soon. "Yeah."

"Are you okay? Did something happen? Did--"

"I'm okay," she cut in. "I'm alright. Nothing's happened. I just...wanted to see if your offer was still on the table?" God, she felt like she was messing this up, going too far and not fast enough. What time was it? How long until Marshall got back?

"Yes! Of course, of course." There was the sound of something clattering to the ground, papers being shoved. She hadn't even considered that he might be working right now. "I can--i can be there in ten minutes. Do you need help packing?"

She felt flustered. She wasn't ready to just up and leave. "I...I'm not leaving him, not right now. I want to talk to him--"

"Don't, Anne. He's manipulative and will convince you to stay."

"You're trying to convince me to leave."

"For you, not for me."

She covered her eyes with her hands. This wasn't how she thought this conversation would go. She wanted to hang up without saying anything and go back to bed but knew she couldn't.

"Please, Anne," he pleaded, "have the strength to protect yourself before it gets worse again."

She felt something welling up behind her eyes, pressure in her stomach. She bit her tongue to stabilize herself and lied, "He's home, I've got to go."

"Okay, be careful."

"Okay."

Hanging up didn't make the pain in her chest go away, and neither did River brushing up against her leg. Suddenly the image of being up on the roof, a dream she used to have, flashed through her mind. She could make her way up there, slip, plummet, and let all of her worries fly away.

Or she could get her head on straight and act right; stop being so foolish the moment something--Tesey--comes along and tells her lies. Yes, Marshall hurt her sometimes; no, she didn't want to be hurt, but a conversation had the chance to clear everything up and she needed to give him that chance. He'd been nice for so long, why would she leave him now?

She worked up the courage to ask Marshall about it a few days later when she could stand without grunting and didn't constantly feel the need to sleep. It was after Marshall got back from walking River, when they sat down to dinner. She waited until his mouth was full of spaghetti before she asked, "Marshall, why did you hate Francis so much?"

He chewed slowly, swallowed. "Francis? That guy from when we first started dating?"

Eliza stuffed a forkful of noodles into her mouth as she nodded.

"I didn't hate him, Elly, I just didn't like him. He was coming onto you every chance he got. I told you, guys don't ever want to be just friends."

She chewed on that. From what she remembered, Francis never tried to "come onto" her, not in any way that she recognized. At the time, she had just thought that Marshall was jealous of when she would go out and play video games with him at the local arcade. Then Marshall had forbidden her from seeing him again, she disobeyed him, and he locked her in her apartment. When Marshall came back his fists were split and bruised and he had a heady, crazed look to his eyes. She'd never heard from Francis again, and he'd blocked her on all his social media sites.

"Why do you ask?"

"I'm worried...that the same thing will happen."

He reached over and covered her hand with his own, rubbing his thumb across her wrist. "You don't have to. I'll make sure Theseus Summers will never hurt you."

She looked him in the eye. "I'm not worried about him."

"Elly." It was a warning; she was going too far. She bowed her head and pressed her lips together when Marshall sighed. "Elly, I don't mean to, I really don't. But I worry, and sometimes you just make me so angry, I—" He stopped himself suddenly and shook his head. "I don't tell you I love you enough, but I do."

"I love you, too."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. But, Marshall..."

He looked at her kindly, like he'd do anything she wanted of him so long as it got them off of the conversation. "Yeah?"

"I think...I think I need a break."