A Face in the Crowd: Faramir

Chapter Sixteen - Starlight

Author note: I'm so so sorry it's been a really long time! I've had a lot of stuff going on, new stuff to write, new work, it's been crazy. Here is one of my favourite chapters, and it's kind of a VERY IMPORTANT ONE!! I hope you enjoy it x

Palen was beginning to worry about Keren. Once ten minutes had passed she assumed it was no visit to the privy, and after half an hour had gone by she checked their room and saw that her sister was not there.

When she returned to the citadel Palen caught sight of Faramir emerging from the House of the King, in the direction Keren had gone over an hour before. Immediate concern entered her head, for she had never seen the Steward look so disturbed, and, she realised belatedly, he had also been absent from the feasting since the sun had started to set.

"Oh, no," Palen whispered under her breath, sending up a quick prayer to the Valar that her little sister had not been caused more grief.

"Mistress Palen," a gruff voice said behind her.

She turned, and stumbled over her reply in surprise over who it was that addressed her.

"M – Mithrandir."

"Mind your sister closely when she returns, I fear all is not as it should be," was all he said, before turning away and disappearing back into the crowd.

Before she could dwell too long on what he meant, or Keren's whereabouts, two small figures appeared, with Dannor behind them.

"The dancing's about to start, Pal," Merry said excitedly. "Save us a couple each. Where's Keren?"

"I don't know," Palen replied. "She's been so..."

"Perhapsh she had too mutsh wine with dinner," Pippin said. "All the besht people did."

Palen gave a little smile, but could not stop herself from worrying. But Mithrandir had said 'when' Keren returned, not 'if', and he seemed to know a lot of things. Reassured that she was at least safe, she followed the tipsy hobbits into the Merethrond.

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Keren had stood frozen for a full ten minutes, her fingers clinging to the balcony as if it were the rail of a ship lost at sea. Thoughts and feelings had deserted her, it was as if she had slipped out of time. Somewhere in the back of her mind was a dim awareness that she had experienced something that she could not explain, something that had once more set her off on a different path. It was oddly freeing.

Then his voice echoed back to her from the silence.

I kissed you because I pitied you.

She knew he lied, and she thought him a coward.

She was not sure she could be brave again herself, though, not after this. Shutting herself in her room with no feelings, no connection to the world, seemed appealing once more, but to return to that state would be allowing herself to break. She leaned forwards, resting her forehead on her folded arms, shutting out the lights of the city. She did not cry, but rather felt a twisting begin somewhere in her belly, which made her want to grit her teeth and groan, as if she was in physical pain.

Mother, was her only coherent thought. Mother I miss you, I need you now. Please.

But there was nothing – no gentle caress of her cheek, no warm embrace, no soft voice telling her all would be well.

The grief was overwhelming, and Keren pulled herself quickly upright. She did not know where she planned to go to, what she would do, who she may see, but she suddenly felt an urge to move. She spun round and took a single step, but then stopped dead as she saw she was not alone.