guitar picks - semishira angst

7~dumb insomniac

A muffled buzz echoed within Semi's poster covered walls. He hadn't been sleeping, he was hardly fooling himself and so he was strangely grateful to be woken by something what would have usually irritated him. 

He flipped over his phone lazily, his eyes squinting as he adjusted to the brightness of his phone. Messages from a few days sprung up, some from his friends, others from his mother that he had forgotten to open. But the most recent ones sat at the top of his phone. And it was these ones, the messages that consisted of 4 words in total, that woke him up from his half asleep state. 

But before Semi could get too carried away in the message or the subtext he paused. Why should he even open the message? They'd just argued, why couldn't Shirabu just say what he wanted to in front of Semi? 

Why was the only time they had proper conversations over the phone?

Bangsie:

i know you're up stop ignoring me

"Stalker",  Semi thought

Semi sEnPai 😒:

what do you want

Shirabu couldn't help it as a smirk crept up from the side of his lips as he saw the name pop up on his phone. He could practically see the frown on Semi's face as he imagined his upperclassman getting angry at him. But this feeling of bliss was cut down by the tone of the message.

Why was communication so disgustingly hard for both of them? Semi rolled over to the other side as he awaited a reply but couldn't help feeling frustrated. This whole teasing banter they had was fading. He wished it didn't, because at least he could understand it that way. He could stand the remarks and getting angry. He liked belittling his underclassman but have the confidence that this would only fuel him more on the court. He missed the unspoken agreement that their interactions only had to be limited to volleyball, so all of this felt so wrong to him. 

Bangsie:

Sorry

Semi sEnPai 😒:

that's it?

cool you're forgiven forget about it

Bangsie:

for fucks sake

*INCOMING CALL FROM BANGSIE*

[decline]           [accept]

"Again?" Semi thought, though something inside him told him that this wasn't an accidental call. He accepted, and remained silent as Shirabu's panting breathes could be heard from the other side of the phone.

"Can you stop breathing so damn heavy?" Semi said stoic

"look..outside" Shirabu said in a raspy voice

"This is a prank" Semi thought, but he ate his words as he peered outside his window into his front yard

There he stood- Shirabu clutched his stomach as he looked up at Semi standing in his window. Semi just stood there, still unsure as to whether Shirabu was just a hallucination that would slip away from his grasp. There was only one way to find out right?

***

Semi grabbed a t-shirt and a hoodie as he crept downstairs. The TV was off, so his dad had probably gone to his room which meant Semi would have to tip toe across the hallway. He put on some trainers and opened his door to reveal the taupe-haired boy in front of him. 

"What", Semi said, as he stood in his doorway

"Come" Shirabu said, as he started walking off

"I'm not going anywhere with you, thanks though" Semi said as Shirabu chuckled

"Yeah well you've got your trainers on Mr Keen" Shirabu said

Semi blushed in embarrassment and followed his team mate as he closed the door and locked it with his set of keys. He didn't exactly know why he was doing this, but maybe forcing themselves to talk it out would ease some tension. Or make everything worse, but to him it was worth the risk.

The walked on the uneven pavement, side by side. Semi had his hands shoved into his pockets as Shirabu fiddled with his fingers. Semi noticed streaks of pink flesh running through the tips of his fingers, as if they'd been bitten or torn but Semi knew better than to ask. 

"You gonna explain why you ran to my house in the middle of the night or are we gonna start pretending like that's a normal thing for us?" Semi asked, humoured by his own words

Shirabu didn't laugh, or even smirk at this. He continued to look ahead of him in the darkness as they walked together. 

"I didn't like the way we left off. I didn't mean to shout," Shirabu said quietly

"I didn't mean to push you. I think you should tell the others but only if and when you're comfortable. I'm sorry too." Semi said, rushing his words and not processing them. Had he been aware that he'd been pressuring Shirabu, and continued to do it anyway? If that was the case, he wouldn't be surprised if Shirabu called him an asshole and walked away.

But they kept walking in a silence that didn't feel awkward anymore, both of them looking ahead and with everystep, started walking closer and closer to one another.

They reached a car park with a viewpoint, and sat themselves down on the ground, shifting uncomfortably until they found a comfortable position. 

'What am I doing' Semi thought. This whole thing was in fact, extremely impractical. He'd never do spontaneous stuff like this, he would never just leave the house to go on a walk for no reason whatsoever. Would he have done this if it were Reon or Tendou? 

"I do plan on telling them by the way," Shirabu said, staring up at the sky. "I need...time. I've accepted, but not processed it, you know? It's weird how I can literally understand the biology of what's going to kill me yet I still don't think I've realised what it means," Shirabu stopped abruptly and looked at Semi who was still looking up

As he stopped, Semi turned to look at him. "What?" Semi said

"Nothing. People get annoyed when I start rambling." Shirabu said, hints of embarrassment in his tone

"Only when you start rambling?" Semi smirked as Shirabu playfully slapped his arm

The two boys relaxed under the stars, a thick humid air blanket settling over them as constellations danced on their faces. Semi's porcelain skin looking taught in the brightness of the light, and Shirabu's freckled complimented by the cosmic splatter painted upon him. 

As Semi turned to face Shirabu again, his eyes were closed. His breath movements faint- he looked like a statue carefully sculpted as each feature was in proportion to the next. His face really did reflect his composed and calculated personality.

They two of them lay there, not caring about the dirt tarnishing their clothes or the sweat forming on their skin. Nothing mattered as they lay there asleep, while the golden sun rose dribbling syrupy sunlight onto them as it signalled a new day.