Chapter 26

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Greece 5 p.m.
Ethan POV -

I've been sitting in this hotel corridor for 3 hours now. With my back against the wall of y/n's hotelroom. Kian and the vlogsquad have been walking in and out, spending time with y/n. Watching Netflix with her. I even heard Shawn finally convinced her to eat something. From the safety of the hallway floor, I wrote down all of her favourite pieces of sushi, that Shawn went to get for her. When he walked down the corridor an hour later with a bag full of food, he sat down next to me. Handing me the bag. "You should go in, Ethan." Shawn said. "Go have dinner with her." He continued. But I shook my head. "I can't.." I answered him. "I will upset her." I added and saying that out loud broke my heart. There's nothing I want more than being in that room with her. Crawl into bed with her and hold her. But I can't unsee the look on her face and her gasping for air when I came close to her this morning. It looked like she was scared of me hurting her. And even though I would never hurt her, I don't want to be responsible for triggering another panic attack. "She's been asking for you." Shawn said and those words made me lift my head and lock eyes with him. "Really?" I responded. He smiled at me and nodded his head. "Really.." he repeated.

My heart skipped a beat, thinking about y/n asking for me. But still I need to build up the courage to actually go in and see her, talk to her. Talk to her about everything that happened. The flashback of her being pinned against that wall, with Mike's hand forced around her neck and his lips against hers haunt me. Not being able to unsee that, is maybe also partly the reason I'm still here. Hours later, outside, on the floor. The door opens and Shawn pops his head around the corner. "Ethan.." he whispers and I look up at him. He furrows his brows and rolls his eyes to the side. Clearly trying to find the right words.
"Umm.. y/n would like-.. she wants to take a bath.." he says. "Her body still hurts, so she might need some he-..". I get up before he can finish his sentence. A faint smile appears on his face. "I mean.. I wanna help her but.." Shawn continues laughing, shrugging his shoulders. "Don't even try to finish that sentence, Mendes!" I breathe in his direction. "Just kidding!" He jokes as he let's me in. Everyone left. The only sound in the room is coming from the TV. "She's in the bathroom." Shawn says before he walks out. "Thanks.." I say in his direction. "Really, Shawn. Thanks for everything." I add. He says nothing, but just smiles before he closes the door behind him.

My hands are clammy instantly when I realize that I'm all alone in her hotelroom. My mouth is dry and my heart is racing. I walk up to the bathroom and knock twice. "It's open.." I hear y/n's soft and really hoarse voice say. I open the bathroom door and see she's looking in the huge mirror that's above the sink. Her back towards me, but we lock eyes via the mirror. Like always, my breath is taken away when we lock eyes. Even though her eyes look wild, lost and restless, they are still home to me. They still draw me in and I fall for her all over again. I set foot in the bathroom and close the door behind me without letting go of her eyes.
The tension is palpable and weighs heavy on my chest. Please don't trigger her. Please don't trigger her, I repeat in my head as I slowly make my way towards the sink. When I'm two steps away from her, I stop. "You want me to help you get in the bath?" I calmly say. She bites her lower lip, showing me she's nervous. But then y/n nods her head yes. I'm afraid to approach her and for a good minute I keep looking at her via the mirror. Trying to figure out my next move.

Before I get the opportunity to make a next move, y/n slowly turns around. Her hair in a messy bun, with strands framing her face. The freckles on her face are begging me to play connect the dots. But I'm trying to read her face. Trying to figure out if she could bear me touching her. She takes a step towards me and her sudden movement makes my heart speed up. She lifts her hand and I almost gasp for air when she places her palm over my heart. Her touch sends shivers down my spine, but calms me down as well. Out heartbeats sync up and a faint smile appears on her face. The change in energy is visible in her eyes, when they radiate warmth and love again. I slowly lift my hand to put a strand of hair behind her ear and butterflies, the kaleidoscope of butterflies that has been caged for a while now breaks free in my stomach. My heart is hers, it has always been hers.

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