Dishing The Dirt: Tommy Lee • Mötley Crüe •

Chapter 18

"I just wanna know how she is, she's gonna wake up, isn't she?" She looked drained. She wasn't crying but her eyes were red and the skin under her eyes was pink and blotchy, just like Vanessa's went when she got upset.

My eyes flickered to Sharise. "Does she know?" I asked.

She looked over at Michelle and nodded. "I told her everything on the way over here"

I took a deep breath and told them both everything. I told them the baby was safe, the injuries she'd suffered and that she was in a coma to keep her asleep while her body got over the worst part.

Sharise's face turned sour.

SLAP!

My cheek started to sting and the next thing I know, Sharise turned into Bruce fucking Lee.

"This is all your fault! She went to look for you!" She screamed as she continued to push and slap me down the hall.

Michelle was trying to grab her but I just let her carry on. In a way, I was glad. I'd spent all night beating myself up over what happened, I was glad someone finally did what I wanted to do to myself.

"Sharise! Stop!" Vince yelled as he flew out the room and pulled Sharise away.

He sat her down on the floor and hugged her while she punched his arm and sobbed. Michelle held my face and I just started to tear up.

"You alright?" She asked as she looked painfully at my face.

I couldn't speak. I just turned around and saw everyone through the door with their jaws on the floor. I needed 5 minutes so I stormed off down the hall and found a fire exit.

***

I was sat outside smoking a cigarette and I'd grabbed myself a coffee from one of the machines. It tasted like shit but I guess you get what you pay for.

"You alright, son?" I looked up to see my dad walking over with his hands in his pockets.

I let out a sigh. "She was right. It's all my fault" I said as I threw my cigarette to the ground and ran my fingers through my hair.

"It was an accident, you couldn't-"

"Don't... please dad. Vanessa went out to look for me. Whatever way you wanna look at it, it's my fault" I said.

"You can't keep kicking yourself Tommy. You made a mistake and fucked up, hell, I've done it plenty of times. You gotta look at the bright side of things, she's gonna wake up... it could have been a lot worse" he said.

My dad always wanted to put a positive spin on things but I didn't wanna hear it. Until Vanessa woke up, I wasn't going to feel better and I was never going to forgive myself.

"What did you argue about?" He asked.

With the way he looked at me, it was like he already had an idea but he just wanted to confirm it. Guess I had Sharise and her foghorn mouth to thank for that.

"She's pregnant" I said.

He wasn't mad. He wasn't happy. He just let out a sigh and was silent.

"Did you really grab her?" He asked.

Thanks Sharise!

I shamelessly nodded my head. My dad was always a happy-go-lucky kinda guy but I saw his jaw clench and he looked like he wanted to beat the shit out of me there and then.

His eyes dropped to my cheek and then he looked away.

"Me and your mom didn't raise you like that" he said sternly as he lit up a cigarette.

"I know... I-I didn't mean to grab her, I-I just... she wouldn't listen to me or talk a-and... I grabbed her arm and then..."

I felt my chest get really tight and I then I couldn't catch my breath. I started hyperventilating. I was shaking and sweating. I went dizzy and my heart was racing. I felt like I was losing control.

"Tommy! Hey!" My dad bent down in front of me and tried shaking me.

"Hey! Can I get some help over here!?" He yelled to some doctors and nurses that were taking a break nearby.

"You're gonna be alright, just relax and breathe" he said as he looked back at me.