Kiss Me Deadly

Chapter Twenty Three

Water sprays down onto me; my own personal waterfall. The scalding water droplets trail down my skin, like the gentlest of caresses. I close my eyes and tilt my head up towards the spray, letting the hot water pour onto my face. Beads of water form and drip from my parted lips. 

I roll my neck and release the tension from my shoulders, trying to banish all thoughts of what Archer said last night from my mind. I've been trying since he walked out of that clearing but I'd spent all last night tossing and turning, unable to get the memory of Archer's lips forming the words I love you out of my mind.

In my mind, hooded green eyes flash and lips oh-so-close move closer. Groaning, I thump my forehead onto the shower wall and stay there. I don't want to move. I want to stay here until the shattered remains of my heart fall out and wash down the drain.

Remembering Archer's confession, I can't help but go back to the first and only other time I've ever been told those three beautiful words; when Ryder found me all those years ago and said the very same thing. And both times, I can't help but wonder if they were genuine or if they fell in love with the me they wanted to see.

Ryder, I'd thought, was in love with the weapon Octavian and my parents had trained so meticulously. In his arms, I'd had to fight the urge to go back with him and be the weapon I was created to be. With Archer, I feel as though he only knows me for the more-or-less innocent, protective girl he's come to know. He loves, or thinks he loves, me for that girl, the one I'm trying so hard to be, not the weapon I'm suppose to be. And, damn it, I'm going to be this girl we both want me to be if it kills me.

I move back into the water again, smiling slightly into the spraying water. I guess I never really realized it before but it's true. I have only been told that someone loves me twice in my entire life; once by Ryder, once by Archer. I nearly laugh at how impossibly sad my life sounds to my own ears.

I purse my lips. There it is again; Archer's lips moving to form the words I love you. So badly, my lips had wanted to say it back. The guilt had kept me from doing it, however. The guilt of who I am and what I've done won't let me get closer to Archer. After everything, maybe I don't deserve to have the happiness I've found in Archer. My shoulders slump as I let the water run over my now closed eyes.

Suddenly, the water doesn't feel right on my skin. It feels thicker somehow. A few drops drip onto my tongue. The taste is metallic, almost like an old penny. My heart stops pumping in my chest. The blood freezes in my veins. I know that taste.

Slowly, dreading what I know I'll see, I open my eyes. My bottom lip trembles as I look at the shower head in horror.

Red. It's everywhere, just like in the woods where I'd killed the shifters. All I can see is blood: pouring out of the shower head, dripping down the walls, rolling down my skin.  My hair is full of it, clinging to the sides of my face like tentacles. 

I back up until I hit the shower wall.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

This can't be happening. This can't be real.

I rake my hands down the sides of my face. My eyes squeeze shut out of their own accord. It's just my imagination, I try to tell myself, but when I open my eyes again, the gruesome mess is still there.

A sob escapes my bloodied lips. Tears streak through the blood on my cheeks as I sink down the wet shower wall. I hug my knees to my chest and let out a whimper.

Is this my punishment? Is that what I get for trying to be happy after all I've done?

"No, no, no. Please, no," I whisper, watching in hysteria as the sticky, red blood pools around my pale toes.

Then I feel it. 

It's so slight that I almost miss it.

A small shudder in the air that the witch in me recognizes immediately.

Magic.

All at once I'm filled with red hot anger.

My fists clench so hard, my nails begin to dig into the flesh of my palms. There is only once person here who hates me enough to do something like this.

Alonna.

I ignite, claws ripping through my nail beds so forcefully I'm sure they're bleeding. I'm too far gone to care. With a scream of rage, I slash through the shower curtain and storm through my room, pulling the much-too-large t-shirt I'd planned on sleeping in over my blood soaked body.

It takes every ounce of self restraint I have in me not to let the father's daughter part of me wolf out and use claws and teeth to destroy the one who did this to me. No one humiliates the daughter of Fenrir and Katrina Steel.

I kick open the front door of the cafeteria. The entire room goes silent as I pause, glaring at every single supernatural in the place until I find the she-wolf I'm looking for. I storm across the room in a whirlwind of blood and claws and fury.

No one dares make a sound as I seize the smirking werewolf by her shirt and slam her against the wall. Unaffected, she smirks as me. "The look on your face is so worth the fifty bucks I paid that witch," she gloats, unaware of how close I am to snapping her frail neck.

"You did this," I snarl in her face, not caring as blood drips into my mouth as I do so.

She glares back at me, losing her infuriating smirk. "I thought it was time to let you know that Archer doesn't belong with you. You're too different. Everything about you is wrong." An animalistic growl grinds from my throat at her comment. The only thing wrong about me at the moment is that I haven't shut this annoying pup up permanently. She rants on, however. "I love Archer and I will do anything and everything it takes to get him back," she pauses, staring straight into my eyes. "And I will get him back."

My green eyes darken, coming dangerously close to becoming the black of a shifted werewolf. My teeth sharpen, poking out from under my lips and craving blood.

I tremble with the need to make her pay for the weakness she'd exposed in me. I want her to be sorry. I want her to cry and beg for my forgiveness. I want to rip her throat out. 

I could do it. I'd done it before, many times. I can almost feel the warm feel of blood dripping down my arm as I sink my sharp claws into soft flesh. The weapon in me wants to do it so badly that it hurts.

I settle for pushing her even harder into the wall and leaning in close so that I can taste the fear on her breath as I whisper darkly, "piss me off like that again, and I will sink my claws into your flesh until you are nothing more than a pile of blood and fear."

Disgusted, I let go and turn away from the fear she tries to hide. My anger dissipates as I walk away, only to be replaced by burning shame. 

The crowd in the cafeteria, thankfully only a handful of teenagers, stare open mouthed at me as I walk barefoot to the doors. I can't help but wonder what I must look like, wearing only an oversized t-shirt, covered in blood and fury. They must be terrified, but I can't bring myself to care.

Even as I walk away, my body is still in defense mode, awaiting the next attack. I hate the feeling. I'd felt it for so long at my old facility that I hoped I'd never have to feel it again. My hand trembles as I reach forward to open the door but it swings open before I have the chance.

Beneath blood and budding tears, my eyes look up to meet his.

I breathe, "Archer."