Kiss Me Deadly

Chapter Twenty Two

We burn the shifter's bodies that night.

No one says anything for a long time. We all just stare silently into the orange flames, lost in our own thoughts.

I think about what Lani said earlier about me not having to feel guilty about what I've done in the past. Maybe she's right. I've felt nothing but guilt for so long, maybe this is my chance to let all of it go. My eyes slide to Archer, who stands somberly across the fire from me. Maybe it's my turn to be happy.

It's time to move on. I let out a shaky breath. Ever so slowly, I make my way across the fire. One foot in front of the other, I remind myself. 

Archer doesn't look up as I approach, but I know that he knows I'm there. Nearly touching, I stand next to him, nervous. Then, hesitantly, I reach over and lace my fingers with his. He doesn't look at me, but his fingers curl around mine and a small smile tugs at his lips.

A slight blush warms my cheeks as I look down, a smile of my own budding. Little sparks of electricity shoot up my arm and tug at my heart. I can't tell if they're killing me or bringing me to life. Whatever it is, I like it. 

After a few long moments of staring into the dancing flames, Dax and Leilani announce that they're going to head back and Archer smiles and says that he'll wait a while longer until the fire goes out. I offer to stay with him, partly because I don't want to have to be alone again and because I'm not ready to let go of Archer's hand quite yet. Lani notices my unwillingness to let go and sends me a knowing look. One that says this is not the last I'll hear about this, but I don't mind. 

Lani then turns and gets a running start before launching herself up onto Dax's back. He catches her at exactly the right moment and takes off running. Leilani's giggles echo back to me through the trees as the two of them disappear.

Silence falls again as I lean my head on Archer's shoulder. I smile softly, wonder what I ever did to deserve this happiness.

"What was it that you wanted to tell me?" Archer asks softly, draping his arm across my shoulders.

I tense. I can't. I can't tell him the truth about who I am and what I've done. It hurts too much. the words refuse to form and leave my lips. 

"I'm sorry," I whisper, lips trembling, "but I can't tell you."

He looks down and draws his eyebrows together. His lips pull down into a frown and I want to kiss it away but I know that I never can. 

"You can trust me, Viridian, with anything." And I believe him, but that doesn't change anything.

"That's not it. I trust you. I do," I say, looking into his eyes and begging him to understand. "I'm just not ready to tell you. There are a lot of things in my past that I'm not proud of and I want you to know about them, but I just can't tell you right now."

Archer moves to face me, gripping both of my shoulders firmly, but gently. His green eyes are kind as they stare into mine. "I can wait," he says softly, reaching up to brush a stray lock of hair from my eyes. "But I need you to know, that whatever it is, could never change the way I feel about you. I care about you, Viridian, and nothing you could say will ever change that."

He moves closer. So close, yet so far away. His warm breath fans across my face. My eyelashes shudder before I blink rapidly. His breath smells like a mixture of mind and the cold air we breathe in.

I'm trembling from my fingers to my toes. When he leans closer, eyes slipping shut, my breathing hitches. My heart beat quickens, and then quickens again. My lips quiver as they near his.

I imagine his lips to be soft. I can almost feel them pressing into mine, molding to fit. I can nearly taste our breathes intermingling. Everything inside of me aches to know the feeling of his lips on mine.

His hand reaches up to cup the side of my face, brushing his thumb lightly across my cheek. I lean into his hand, loving the electric, should-gripping feeling I get whenever his skin touches mine. I smile as out noses brush.

Our lips brush each other like a whisper and I can feel my powers welling up inside of me. It crawls up my throat into my lips. It would feel so good to just let it go.

My eyelids snap open like two windows shattering. My hands brace themselves on Archer's shoulders. I push him away gently, but firmly. I close my eyes, lips trembling as I form the words, "we can't."

I open my eyes and look up, dreading his reaction. Archer frowns, but backs up a step. He's use to me pushing him away, but this time, he looks different. There's a fire behind his eyes.

"No," he says simply, defiance in his eyes.

I'm taken aback. "What?"

He steps forward and brushes his thumb across my cheek slowly, taking his time. "I'm not going to hold back anymore, Viridian. I'm not going to let the fear of someone gaining control of my powers keep me from living my life the way I want to live it. "

I open my mouth, trying to find the words to tell him that it can never happen, but they won't come. He brushes his thumb across my parted lips and hushes me.

He moves even closer, leaning down to brush his lips once more against mine. "So," he whispers against my parted lips, "when you're ready to let go of that fear, too, I'm going to kiss you."

My breathing is uneven as I look at his lips. So close. So very close. I'm shivering with want. I'm a puddle at his feet. I've melted with the intensity of his desire for me.

His dazzling green eyes are hooded as he dips to stare at me in the eyes.

"I'm in love with you."

My heart explodes.

I shatter into a million pieces so small there is no hope for me to ever be put back together again.

"And, Viridian, I can wait for you to fall for me too."

With that, he turns and walks into the dense forest, leaving me all alone.

Oh, I think. Oh, if only he knew that I've already fallen.