Oregairu: Once Upon A Time

My New Job Is Unexpected Part 1 of 2

"Eh? Why? That sounds unfair," Komachi frowned. Oooooh! You just scored a ton of Hachiman points! Wait, she's cuter when she smiles though!

Mom finished preparing our breakfast as she set a fresh pot of rice beef curry onto the table. "That's because there is a sickness going around. It's like some sort of flu, but it sounds even worse than usual! Have either of you caught anything? You are taking care of yourselves, right?"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course. It is unfortunate that we have to make contact with other disgusting humans in order to survive as a species, but such is the way of life."

"R-Right..." Dad sweat dropped. "Well, we're both off to work. Bye-" He wants to escape my monologue! How dare you escape it!

An idea came to my mind. "Hey, wait!" I ran from the kitchen to the front door as they were about to leave, so they closed it. 

"Eh? We didn't forget anything, ya know."

"W-Well, I'm thinking about getting a job. Of course, this is mainly to add funds to my own wallet-"

"so that you can spend it on those light novels, huh." Mom deadpanned.

Hey! You guilt tripped me into this! "Yeah, but also so that I can alleviate some of your stress."

"Heh?! Onii-chan wants to get a job?!" Komachi looked at me like I'm crazy. "What has the world come to?!" 

"Oi! Minus Hachiman points for you!"

"Mew!" Kuro-chan purred as she rubbed up against Komachi, as if agreeing with her. 'Ara ara, I never thought I'd see the day you'd say such a thing, Hikigaya-kun,' I hear a very high-pitched voice. 

I look around. "Did you guys hear that?!" I ask my parents and sister.

"Hear what?" All three of them said.

'Fufu. It's me, Kuro-chan!' I look at the cat with wide eyes. Meanwhile, my parents shrugged as they left for work. 'That's right, hooman slave of mine. I'm speaking to you telepathically, nincompoop Kusogaya.'

I'm not a nincompoop, and my name isn't an insult! Wait, why is this familiar to me? 

'It is now.'

Damn you! And I'm not a slave! Just because all you have to do is act cute to get me to do thy bidding [26] doesn't mean I'm your servant!

I hear a girlish squeal. 'Eep! You... You t-think I-I'm c-c-c-c-c-cute?'

Why are you being so bashful and tame all of a sudden?!

"Onii-chan," Komachi interrupts my thoughts. "Why are you having a staredown with Kuro-chan? And you should eat your breakfast. It's getting cold. You don't want to be late for school, right?"

Before I could respond, I heard a loud POOF sound. We looked towards the source and saw a screen of smoke.

We heard what sounded like a person coughing. Then something happened that shocked us. 

The visible silhouette of Kuro-chan grew bigger and bigger, and when the smoke cleared, my jaw dropped harder than Hitler's only testicle when the Soviets reached Berlin.

There sat a beautiful girl in front of me. Long raven-black hair, ice-cold blue eyes, soft supple cheeks, a flat chest- wait, what are you thinking about, Hachiman?!

Komachi could only stammer. "A-Aaaaahhh?! Y-Yukinoshita-senpai is Kuro-chan?!"

"Y-Yukinoshita?! AH!" My cheeks turned red as I quickly turned around. "Y-You're n-naked..."