10 Reasons, Why You Like Me

10 Reasons - Chapter 21

Chapter 21

"Dad asked me to go to Chicago for Easter weekend," I told my mom, the next morning.

   "Oh, wow. What do you think?" she asked, looking at me from across the table. She was sipping her coffee and flipping the pages of her newspaper.

   "I'm not going."

   "Okay. I don't do much to celebrate, since I've been alone for years-"

   "I have plans with my friends," I interrupted, but I felt bad instantly.

   "Oh, okay, great." She sounded unsure, but smiled. "Is everything else okay?"

   "Yeah, of course," I said quickly, but then sighed. "I do miss Kennedy."

   Her face changed, like she hadn't been expecting this. "Oh, Kels. Me too."

   But this irritated me more than anything. "He's just a kid. He's so young, and now he's alone." I shook my head, hating that I'd left him behind.

   "He's not really-"

   "Mom, you left him, you left us. And now I left him, too," I snapped.

   She rubbed her temple, sighing. I glanced at her again before standing and walking out of the kitchen.

   YOU DOING OKAY? I texted Kennedy later that morning.

   YEAH, WHY?

   IM NOT COMING BACK THERE FOR EASTER.

   I KNOW. I DIDN'T REALLY EXPECT YOU TO.

   I MISS YOU, KENNEDY, I told him.

   MISS YOU TOO, HOWS MOM? he asked.

   He'd never really asked about her before, in all the times I'd talked to him since I'd been in St. Cloud. He'd asked about school, my new friends, how I was feeling, but not really about our mother.

   SHES GOOD.

   OKAY. YOU'RE COMING BACK AFTER YOUR BIRTHDAY? he asked, and even though it was a text, it seemed desperate.

   YEAH, I told him, even though I wasn't so sure.

   The truth was, suddenly I felt like I'd never go back to Chicago. Things here weren't perfect, but nothing there was, either.

   That familiar knock on the back door that afternoon calmed me a bit. Mom was out, getting groceries. She's asked me what I wanted before she left - she was trying to smooth things over between us. I told her I was fine with anything. Now, I wasn't expecting Anderson but I was glad he had come.

   We sat down on the couch next to each other, him leaving space again. The room was warm and smelled like my mom's candle that had been burning that morning. Anderson was wearing jeans and a t-shirt and had a bit of facial hair on his cheeks and chin. We didn't talk for the first few minutes, which made me feel uncomfortable.

   "Why are things weird with us?" he finally asked.

   "They are?" I asked back, trying to sound surprised.

   "A week ago, we almost kissed, then -"

   "You didn't text me all week."

   "Neither did you," he smiled.

   "I thought maybe you regretted it," I admitted, moving my hands into my lap.

   "I didn't." He sounded serious. "Did you?"

   "I don't think so," I shook my head.

   "So should I quickly say three more reasons why I like you? So I can take you out today?" he suggested, his eyes wide.

   I smiled at him, "Okay."

   He thought for a second. "Number eight, I like your smile, a lot. Number nine you make me feel better. Number ten-"

   "Better?" I asked.

   "Yeah. Like... every time I think about you, I smile. Even if I'm in a crappy mood, or whatever."

   I swallowed hard. "I drove Jessica back here, from school yesterday," I admitted, out of the blue.

   "Uh, I thought you said she doesn't like you?" Anderson looked unsure.

   "It was just... random."

   "She came in to my Grandma and Papa's, but she was acting weird. And she was really angry that I was there," he told me, keeping his eyes on me.

   "I saw you and her getting into your car and driving off."

   He sucked in a breath. "She was going to walk home, but it was cold. I finally got her to let me drive her back to mom's. She's so stubborn, and such a..."

   "But then you went to a party?" I asked, curious.

   "I was just going to drive her... my mom was working late and Jessie didn't have a ride. But some guys I wrestled with last year were there -"

   "You don't have to explain," I said, shaking my head.

   "I do. And I actually wanted you to come," he smiled.

   "Were you drunk?" I asked carefully.

   "Drinking... but not drunk."

   "And you wanted to kiss me?" I smiled, and he nodded. "I'm not really into parties."

   "Are you into kissing?" he asked, like this was an innocent question.

   "No. I mean, yeah, I guess, but..."

   Anderson moved closer, so his leg was brushing against mine. "Tell me to stop."

   I didn't say anything, but I didn't move either. I took in a breath, and then his lips were touching mine, gently. I didn't know what to do, so I closed my eyes. When he pulled away, I saw he was smiling. But I was embarrassed. Something didn't feel right about this. Maybe I just didn't feel worthy of someone like Anderson. Maybe it was because his sister was Jessica.

   I moved a bit, putting space between us again. He keep his eyes on me, but looked concerned.

   "Maybe this isn't a good idea," I spat out.

   "Why?" he asked, blinking hard.

   We'd already been through this. It felt like deja vu. Sure, we met by chance on a place, and again a week later on his grandparents' porch. But it was random. There was no such thing as fate, or meant to be.  If there was, my parents would still be together. And I wouldn't be in this situation at all.

      "Tab was right. If Jessica finds out -"

      "My sister? Why is she so important to you?" he wanted to know.

      "She's..."

   "Kelsey, you're going to let your friend Tab tell you that my sister rules the school?" I just blinked a few times. "She's actually not that perfect."

   I knew things about Jessica that he didn't even know. He would hate her for what she'd done at that party. She was acting just like his ex, who cheated on him. This was just too much drama for me.

   "You'd rather be alone, than risk being with me?" He said this with questioning tone, but his eyes were sad.

   For some reason, I nodded. Maybe I was punishing myself. Maybe I was just scared to be happy, in Minnesota. But watching Anderson stand and walk towards the door, I wasn't sure if I'd done the right thing.