Thoughts

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Hanging out with Bakugou has been so fun! We hang out in his dorm every Monday and then in mine every Friday. Sometimes we sleep over in each other's rooms if it gets too late and we don't wanna get caught trying to sneak back into our own rooms. I really love playing games with him too! He's so funny when he rage quits! Last week, we played Call of Duty zombies and he got killed by a swarm of them and he started screaming like a little kid! It was the funniest think I had ever seen him do! And when he finally lost all his health, he put the controller down and just said, in the calmest voice, "I don't like this game." And he took out the disk and replaced it with Minecraft. He's so afraid of the Call of Duty games but when he plays Minecraft, he always insists on playing in Hardcore mode. He says, "normal is too easy and peaceful is way too boring." But really it's because he just wants to kill everything in sight. It's kinda cute though, when we play Minecraft together. I always build the house and go mining while he gets things like food and protects the house... He protects me too.

Lately, when I play these games alone, I find myself remembering how it is playing with him. Then I get sad sometimes because I miss him. But then, always without fail, he messages me asking if I want to come over and play Animal Crossing or if I want to get online and play Minecraft with him. I think those are the only games he's confident in playing with other people. Actually, come to think about it, I don't even think his other friends know he even has Minecraft and Animal Crossing. Sometimes he'll come by to borrow one of my fighting games whenever he has friends in his room and they wanna play games. I don't mind, I know he just wants to seem cool. I kind of find that cute about him though, that he can only be open about his true interests when he's with me. It makes me happy that he feels he can be that way with me. And I can be my true authentic self with him too.

Oh, he also checks up on me on the days we don't hang out. When we don't hang out at each other's rooms, or if we don't spend lunch together, he still checks in with me with a text. Let's go through some of my favorite messages.

[his contact in your phone is 'spiky']

Spiky: Hey

Me: hi

Spiky: You have any water today?

Me: not yet

Spiky: WELL GET SOME!!! WATER IS GOOD FOR YOU!!!

Me: okay okay! I'll get some later!

[he showed up to your room after a few seconds with a bottle of water and you both spent the next few hours listening to music and talking about random things]

Oh, I like this one a lot.

Spiky: Hey, how are you?

Me: im doing okay, you?

Spiky: I'm fine. Are you sure you're okay? You looked a little spaced out today.

Me: i was just thinking about things, no biggie lol

Spiky: You wanna talk about it?

At first, I really didn't want to, I didn't want to bother him too much.

Me: I'll be fine, I don't wanna bother u

Spiky: Come on idiot. You know you can tell me anything? And I won't be able to sleep if I know you're not happy. And I know you won't be able to sleep with all these thoughts flying around in your head.

Me: okay okay, the truth is, I'm not okay. I've been really stressed out with a lot of things. And sometimes when I'm training alone, I'm reminded of my mom. I'm reminded of how I hurt her. And honestly, lately, when I tell you I'm going to bed, I'm really just telling you that so I can go cry myself to sleep because the thoughts in my head are so restless...

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