my strange addiction

Part 17

'I'll try to stay clean and never interact with my father again.' Lexa whispers. Clarke rolls over. It's morning. The sun is shining through the curtains. Lexa is staring at the ceiling. 'What?' Clarke's voice was sleepy. She just woke up. Yesterday was a lot and she needed sleep. She was exhausted. 'I'll try to stay clean,' Lexa's voice was serious. She had been up for an hour now. She's been thinking about how this is going to work. 'Lexa.' Clarke says. 'No I want to.' Lexa says. 'You'll be in danger.' Clarke says. 'So should I just fuck up the only thing in my life that I love?' Lexa asks. She slightly raised her voice. 'No I mean, I love that you want to stay clean, but your father.' Clarke says. 'You don't have to worry about that Clarke.' Lexa says. 'But I do.' Clarke says. 'He is my father. I went into that business, not you.' Lexa says. 'Can we talk about something else?' Clarke asks. 'I'm sorry Clarke.' Lexa whispers. 'Lexa it's okay.' Clarke whispers. She tucks a strand of hair behind Lexa's ear. 'You don't deserve to be involved in this.' Lexa whispers. A tear rolls over her cheek. Clarke wipes it away with her thumb. She cups Lexa's cheek and makes her look at her. 'You don't either.' Clarke whispers. 'But I chose this.' Lexa whispers. 'You want to get out now. I don't care if you chose it. You choose to stay clean now. I love you.' Clarke kisses Lexa's cheek. She pulls Lexa closer to her chest. Lexa listens to Clarke's heartbeat. It calms her. 'I'm scared Clarke.' Lexa whispers. 'I know.' Clarke whispers back. She presses a kiss to Lexa's forehead.

'I have to go to the office today. To talk to Indra.' Clarke says. Lexa smiles. She still has to get used to this new life. She forgot that Clarke still is and wants to be a fbi agent. 'What's wrong?' Clarke asked. 'Nothing. This is just all a bit new for me.' Lexa says. 'We'll be fine.' Clarke says. 'Will we tho?' Lexa asks. 'You're a literal fbi agent and I'm a serial killer. How is this going to work?' Lexa asked. 'I don't know Lexa, but it's worth trying to me. Is it to you?' Clarke asks. She didn't mean to raise her voice but she did. 'Of course it is. I just don't want you to lose your life because of me!' Lexa shouts. 'I won't lose my life!' Clarke shouts. 'You have to trust me if you want this to work.' Clarke says. Lexa sits down on the couch. She buries her head in her hands. 'I need some fresh air.' Lexa says. Clarke is shocked. She didn't expect Lexa to leave like that. The door closes and Clarke is left alone in her apartment.

Lexa walks through the city even though she's never really been here. She knows she can't just walk around here without protection. She knows she needs to hide from her father but she's just so lost. She doesn't know what to do with Clarke. She knows she wants to be with Clarke, but it's different than what she had with Costia. Costia lived in the same circle as her. Costia was the daughter of queen Nia so she knew what it was like to be raised by a criminal. Clarke doesn't and that's hard for her. She can't really explain it. It's just something you understand or you don't.

'Aren't you the serial killer that fucked my girlfriend?' Someone asked from behind her. Lexa just kept walking and ignored the person behind her. She didn't know who this man was and how he knows her. 'Woods right?' Lexa turned around. He was wearing a dark blue suit and a white shirt. Fbi definitely. He smirked. 'Did I finally get your attention?' He asks. 'What do you want?' Lexa asked. 'Right I forgot serial killers don't like smalltalk.' He said. Lexa got a few looks from strangers. Lexa dragged him into the nearest alley. 'I said what do you want.' Lexa said. 'Wow Missy.' He said as he pulled out his gun. 'I'm not afraid of that. Try harder.' Lexa said. 'Finn Collins. Clarke's boyfriend.' Finn said. Lexa rolled her eyes. 'Just wanted to let you know. I'm keeping an eye on you Woods.' Finn said. He walked away and Lexa was left behind in the dark alley.

After a while the door opened again. Clarke looked up to find Lexa. 'Lexa thank god.' She said. She tried to hug Lexa but she pushed her away. 'You didn't care to tell me you have a boyfriend huh?' Lexa asked. She went to the kitchen and made herself a glass of water. 'What is this really about Clarke?' Lexa asked. 'Do you wanna get my father through me? You could've told me.' Lexa spit. 'Maybe I should go to that safe house. You can't protect me if you can't separate feelings from duty. I don't even know why I tried. Love is weakness after all.' Lexa said. She went to the bedroom and gathered her few things. 'What the hell are you talking about!' Clarke shouted. 'You leave and then come back being like this. I don't know what is going on with you but you better tell me!' Clarke shouted. 'Your boyfriend Finn paid me a visit.' Lexa said. 'Excuse me?' Clarke asked. 'Finn Collins. Isn't he your boyfriend.' Lexa said. 'No he is not.' Clarke said. 'He sure seemed to think you two are dating.' Lexa said. 'Are you really believing him over me?' Clarke asked. 'I don't know who to believe Clarke. You're an fbi agent after all.' Lexa said. 'I'm not even an agent anymore. I got fired saving your ass from that prison.' Clarke said. 'I've seen many of my friends get arrested because they trusted an fbi agent Clarke. They all fell for it and ended up either dead or in prison for life.' Lexa said. 'I'm not like them.' Clarke's voice was softer now. She lightly touched Lexa's arm. The touch was her weak spot. Clarke was her weak spot and it scared the crap out of her.