Talking With Snakes||D.M

Damaged.

I wander through the corridor on my way to DADA, waiting for the last possible minute. I wasn't looking forward to attending class with Carrow but what can you do. I needed the class to graduate and I wasn't going to let them stop me from getting the course.

As I approach the door I see Neville leaning against the wall. I give him a questioning look and he smiles at me pushing off the wall. He falls into step beside me as I pass him, seeming unbothered by the people looking at him. Even I feel uncomfortable with the people looking at me, so how is he so unbothered?

I look straight ahead as we walk into the classroom taking our seats " You seem to radiate confidence today." I say quietly. It was true, he seemed more himself than usual. Actually, he seemed like a different person, happier. I don't mean to be that person but, why was he in such a good mood?

He smiles brightly " I am staying optimistic." he whispers his hands toying with his quill. I tilt my head at him and he shrugs " I just have a good feeling is all." he says calmly.

I roll my eyes crossing my arms on the desk and resting my head on them " That makes one of us." I say quietly. He laughs lightly and his eyes almost sparkle, the sight making a light smile appear on my lips.

>*<

At lunch I sit with Pansy, Daphne, Blaise and Theo. All of us were practically traumatized from our last class. I hate the fact that Crabbe and Goyle enjoyed it so much, it made me regret being nice to them. It was safe to say Neville's confidence wore off within the first minute of class.

Both the Carrows had been teaching us today, it was twenty times as bad. Their idea of a fun lesson didn't very well coincide with our ideas. None of us thought their cruelty funny, other than Crabbe and Goyle.

They had brought in a bunch of first years who apparently had detention. It was these days that I missed scrubbing cauldrons and cleaning Snape's potion classroom. Mostly because instead of writing lines or cleaning cauldrons the punishment was the cruciatus curse.  And today we were the disciplinarians.

We were the ones who were supposed to deliver their punishments. It was why we had been learning it a few weeks ago, why they had taught it to us. They wanted to turn us against each other through their cruel acts and many of them had complied.

Many of my friends had complied purely out of fear of being crucioed. I know in their hearts they hadn't wanted to do it but they were scared, fear makes people do a lot of things.

'I couldn't do it'

I held no fear for the Carrows, they didn't scare me. I didn't jump at the sound of them slamming the door shut behind them. I wasn't scared when Amycus had screamed at us for hesitating. Everyone hesitated, but they all gave in at the end. They didn't want to deal with the repercussions that came from not listening to their orders.

'But I still couldn't make myself do it'

I wasn't weak, I didn't feel the need to bend to their will. I was strong and I got my way when I worked for it, it always worked out. I wasn't afraid of what would come if I didn't do it, not at the time.

'I regretted it after'

I couldn't do I to the little girl whos only sin was tardiness. She was too sweet and she was absolutely terrified. I couldn't help but sway at the sight of her trembling hands, her terrified expression. She had her face half hidden in her robes in attempt to hide from the monsters that lurked over my shoulder.

'They were watching'

I couldn't care less if they were watching, they didn't matter. The monsters had never really scared me, I had my magic to protect me. But this little girl was the kind of kid who was scared of her own shadow.