The Change Within

㉒Do I Really Have To?

Jeongguk huffed a laugh at his murmuring remark as he rolled his eyes, already knowing where this was heading. “Did you finish the kiss scene?”

“No, I’m gonna put it aside for a few days.” He resumed approaching him as he shot him a string of wary glances, wanting to sit next to him, and he reined back a smile once he successfully took his seat without Jeongguk telling him to leave as usual. “After what happened, I don’t feel so comfortable to kiss a complete stranger. I have to do my research first.”

“The option of not doing it again isn’t on the table, huh?”

“And what am I supposed to do with my novel? I’m a writer who needs to see and feel before he writes. I get inspired that way and write better.”

“Just use your imagination.”

“It’s not the same.”

“Why?”

“Okay, listen.” He shifted to a cross-legged position then as he faced him. “When you, for example, hug someone, there are some standard things you can feel and think at that moment. A few common things you can feel are warmth, safety, joy, comfort, peace, affection. But depending on who you’re hugging, you feel different things. For example, I can assume what I’ll feel if I hug you, but maybe I’ll feel something I haven’t thought about. Or maybe your hug will help me come up with different ways to describe those common feelings. You see where I’m getting at?”

The younger mulled over his words and nodded with a soft hum. “Yeah, you have a point. But you’re a writer for years now. Haven’t you found every possible way to describe things?”

“You can never find all possible ways, Kook. There are probably hundreds of ways to describe a simple hug, an action, a position, a kiss scene. The choices of words are countless. And new experiences and new people can help you see things from a different perspective. They can inspire you to come up with something you haven’t thought about before. That’s why I want to see and feel things before I write a scene.”

“Fine, I get it. And don’t call me that.”

Taehyung’s expression stretched into a mask of irritation mixed with shock as a surprised puff burst out of his mouth. “Seriously? After everything that happened two days ago?”

“Yes, seriously,” Jeongguk snapped back with a caustic face.

“You’re unbelievable, but whatever, sure, I won’t call you that. Will you still help me, though?”

“Do I really have to?”

“Please, please, please?” he asked in a complaining tone as he presented his most endearing puppy eyes.

The younger’s lips quirked at the sight, and he turned his head away in his attempt to secret his smile. “You become so whiny when you want something.”

“And apparently you like it,” he teased as he leaned over to take a look at his face, glimpsing at his tiny smile just before Jeongguk effaced it and plastered a sneering expression on his face instead.

“As if,” he scoffed while he visibly tensed up since he was caught, and he knew it. “Just tell me what you want.”

“So, you meet the one you like, okay? And he seems sad, like something is bothering him, and at some point, he starts crying. What do you do to comfort him?”

“You’re killing me here, Kim. I have no idea how to comfort someone.”

“There’s no way you don’t know. Haven’t you comforted someone before?”

Jeongguk’s body stiffened with the memories that slammed into his head, filling it with agonizing pieces of a past he could never leave behind. “No, I haven’t,” he breathed out as he squeezed his eyes closed for a stretch, striving to shut out the harrowing images from his messed-up head.