Delicate Pulse | Violentine

Rock, Paper, Scissors

"Clementine, could you stay back for a minute please?"

I was halfway out the door heading to lunch when Mr Everett pulls me aside after history class. I groan, shuffling away from freedom. My classmates stare as they pass me by. Minerva smirks at me followed by the group of girls that chase after her whenever she's not around Violet or the rest. I play it cool.

When the classroom is empty he starts talking to me while erasing evidence of the lesson off the whiteboard. "How are things?"

I shrug, folding my arms. "Could be better. Is there something wrong?"

"Some of your peers are worried about you. They're saying you're being distant and wandering off on your own."

I can only guess Brody being the culprit of bringing a teacher's attention onto me, considering those were the same words that came out of her mouth the other day. That conversation didn't last long, I'm hoping this one doesn't either.

He puts down the eraser. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"You won't tell?"

"As long as your life and or others aren't in danger," he compromises.

I chew the inside of my cheek. There's no way I'm telling him about Minerva, I haven't told anyone about that afternoon, but if I don't tell him anything there's a chance he won't let me go and I have places to be.

"Well, there's this girl," I start eventually. "I think I really want to be her friend but it's like she won't let me."

I make sure to be very vague. It's really none of his business after all. He slides into his desk chair casually. "And what makes you think that?"

I rock from one foot to the other in discomfort. "It's like she's okay with me but then the next minute she hates me. It's really confusing."

His forehead creases while he pauses to calculate. "Can you think of anything that you have done, whether it was an accident or not that could have upset her?"

"I don't know," I mutter. "...being nice to her?"

He nods his head once, coming to a conclusion. "Sounds like she's dealing with her own problems right now."

Violet must have a lot of problems then because she sure acts like it. While I ponder about her something else crosses my mind and I open my mouth to say it before biting my tongue. A teacher is not the right person to ask that sort of question. Besides, it's a stupid thought.

Mr Everett acknowledges my silence and moves on. "Anything else?

I say something else that doesn't feel as stupid. "Actually yeah. I've been getting these weird dreams...nightmares. Is that a thing here?"

"Not that I'm aware of," he laughs a little which doesn't relieve my stress at all. I understand now that my dreams are important, I'm just confused as to why they're happening here at Ericson's. I was sort of hoping it was a well-known curse and that I wasn't alone.

"I have a job for you," he announces, opening a draw and slips out a notebook. "Use this and write down everything. Your thoughts, dreams, fears, whatever you want. I won't be asking to read it, this is all for you."

I pick it up and flip through the crisp pages. "Why?"

"Journaling is a great way to reflect and to understand what's going on up here..." He touches his head. "And what's trapped in here," he places his hand on his heart. I accept it doubtfully. I didn't even own a diary growing up.

"Don't look so scared all the time Clementine," he adds in the most sincere and humane manner. "It'll all be okay. Just breathe and focus."

I feel the overwhelming sensation to breakdown and cry in front of him. I fight this desire all the way out the room, gripping the notebook to my chest, a lump in my throat.