The Designated Dorm Room

25. - Present

this has been edited once.

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I can’t sleep that night, after we went back to the hotel from our dinner. I am tangling my hair with my finger, frustrated and angry at myself and no one in particular. Why?

I was falling for Dylan. All over again.

I hate myself for it. I hate the world; I hate fate for putting me with him in the same college; in the same dorm room.

I didn’t believe it at first, but it was becoming so obvious. Every time he touched me or joked with me or talked to me, I felt that sparks I felt three years ago.

And it is everything BUT what I want!

I forbid myself from it.

I resist myself from it.

I always tell myself, Don’t, don’t make the same mistake again Kaylie.

But here I am, losing sleep in the bed because I was breaking my own vow. I spent three years cursing, hating on him. Doing whatever it takes for me to never think of the idea of getting back with him, or even like him again. You have no idea how long it took me three years ago to get over that little 200 days we spent together.

It took me fucking 4 and a half months. I was literally the worst mess during those times. I would waking up with red eyes from crying, skipping meals and losing focus.

I finally got over it, and now I’m falling for him again. My work wasted.

. . .

I stood at the door, staring at the horrifying vivid images in front of my eyes. Jennifer was crawling on top of Dylan, who appeared to still be sleeping – well, somewhat sleeping – and her hand was running up and down his chest, trying to kiss him and get him to wake up. I choked inaudibly, as I realized none of them had their clothes on.

.

“And tell you what,” Dylan moved closer to me. “I’d rather go sleep with Jennifer than be with someone as a liar as you. And you said you love me?”

.

I bounce up from the bed, half-shouting as I realize I was dreaming. I glanced at the clock and noticed it was three in the morning. I fell asleep not two hours ago and I am already getting nightmares about memories of me and Dylan.

“Kaylie?” I turn to see Dylan sitting on the edge of my bed, shaking my arm. “Are you okay? I heard you screamed.”

I look at him; all the memories in my dream shortly earlier came back. Blaming on my midnight hormones and my falling-for-him-again hormones, my eyes start watering and I start sobbing out of nowhere. I know, what the hell Kaylie?

Dylan started panicking, obviously not knowing what the fudge is wrong with me, crying at three in the morning. “Kaylie… Kaylie, tell me what’s wrong!” he said, pulling my arms so that I am now facing him.

I stay quiet as I continue sobbing. What could I tell him? Most definitely not ‘I cry because the thought of you cheating on me years ago’. He’d just… I don’t even know what he’ll do. I’d probably embarrass myself to death.

Dylan also does not say anything – he just sits there soothing my back for a good 10 minutes until I stop.

“Okay,” he says gently. “So do you want to share what happened?”

I shake my head. “No,” I say, cracking. “No, I’m fine.”

“You know I’m not buying that,” says Dylan, as he looks at me.