Turning Tables

Chapter 15

I stayed all night at the beach, didn't even fall asleep once, the pain was to deep.
I watched the sunrise, it reminded me of Cameron everything did to be honest. It was the little things.
After I saw the sunrise I decide to go home before everyone freaks out that I'm gone.
I walked through the door and Matt and Chrissy jump up
"Where were you! Chrissy said
"At the beach"
"All night?, what were you doing there?"
"Watching the sunset. You guys aren't my parents, I can take care of myself."
Chrissy and Matt both shut up.
Chrissy hugs me and takes one look at me.
She can see my red puffy eyes and can tell that I had been crying.
"I thought you were better?" She said
That made me snap
"No I'm not better and I keep waiting for someone to figure that out... And they don't. I mean of course they don't. Because as long as I say the right thing and act the right way they're happy because they think I'm finally better."
Her and Matt stood there shocked
" I love him Chrissy" I say as I walk up the stairs to my room.

I shut my door and fell to my Knees and cried, I was mad at the world, I was mad at life but most of all I was mad at myself because it was my fault Cam was gone.

10 minutes later i plopped up on my bed falling asleep.
I didn't want to wake up.
I was having a much better time asleep,
And that's really sad.
It was almost like a reverse nightmare,
Like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relived.
I woke up into a nightmare.

(Knocking)

Come in
Matt walked in and lay'd down next to me.
"Hey" he said softly
"Hey"
"Listen, I'm not good with advice but you're so special to me Jessica and it kills me seeing you this way."
Matt says while holding me.
It was quiet for awhile, I know he was trying his best to comfort Me.

"I don't know if I care anymore or want to." I said and sighed

"You do care, you care so much it's eating you away, you hate the fact that you care so much but it's the only thing you know how to do and you constantly lie to yourself just so you can get through the day."

I was speechless, he was right.
A little while after I looked at the clock, I was 4pm and I knew I had to get up and take a shower I had work in 2 hours.

Before I got off the bed Matt grabbed my hand and pulled me back
"Hey you want me to come with you to work.? Later we could just walk around Hollywood maybe it would get your mind off things."
He is so sweet matts an amazing friend I was so blessed to have amazing friends.
"Yeah, I'd like that."
I waked over to Chrissy's room and knocked.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you Chris. You were only trying to help."
She didn't say anything but she smiled.
"I know you love him and I'm not going to tell you to get over him I'm going go stand by your side and help you through it. I'm going to pick up the pieces to your broken heart."
"Every last one of them?"
I asked
"Every last one of them"
She said.

I felt some what better.
I took a shower got ready and had to wake up Matt.
I walked in my room and took one look at him and turned away, he looked so peaceful sleeping I wasn't going to make him come with me.
I was walking out when I heard him say
"Why weren't you going to wake me?"
"You looked so peaceful"
"I told you I was going to come with you there for I am."
"You sure?"
"Yeah"
"Thank you"

We got in the car first stop was Starbucks
I got my usual
Carmel Frappachino
Matt got vanilla bean.
And we were ready.
"So who's house are you going to?"
"She plays in vampire diaries its Nina Dobrev"
"You must love your job, you meet so many famous people on a daily basis I mean I meet many celebrities to but don't ever really get a chance to talk to them."

"I do it's pretty amazing but there's a lot of stuck up stars but Ninas sweet."
"She's hot to"
We both laughed.
"But she's not as hot as you"
It got quiet
"Matt thank you"
I felt awkward...
" hey can I tell you something?"
He said with a serious look.
"Yeah what is it."
"You're so beautiful and Cam is an idiot for giving up so damn quick if it were me I wouldn't have giving up I would've fought for you but if it were I would not have done that to you.
And I have feelings for you but you dated my bestfriend and deep down in him I know he still loves you and I'm not going to do that to him and it's hard to be friends with someone special, because you look at them and they're everything you want to have and I can't have you. Deep down its killing me but I rather be friends that nothing at all."

I didn't know what to say so I kissed him.
First thought Why did I just do that!!

"Matt you're so sweet and there are times I thought about you and me but I just can't seem to let go of Cam no matter what I do or how hard I try. It's no fair that he's happy with someone new and I have to sit here and watch."
"You don't deserve this"
Matt said grabbing my hand.
We arrived at Ninas house and it took an hour and I was done, she was going to a premier.

Matt and I did what he said we were going to do.
We were waking around its like the Conversation we had in the car didn't happen.
I walked in to sephora I needed some things for work so I grabbed them.
As we were waking out Matt grabbed my hand, we were holding hands and it didn't feel awkward.

We walked down Hollywood blvd and as we turned the corner We bumped into Cameron he looked at us and seen that me and Matt were holding hands.
"Really Matt what the fuck is going on are you guys dating now? She's mine Cam how could you? And you Jessica you're a fucking homei hopper." Can say furiously pushing Matt.
"Last time I checked you gave up on her, you left for Ashly"!!! Matt said back.
Cam walked away angrily
"Sorry" I said looking at Matt of embarrassment
"Hey this isn't your fault"
Half an hour later we got to my house, Matt left to go help the jacks, Chrissy was with Nash and I was alone.

I took a hot relaxing bath
When I had seen Cameron texted me

From Cam: hey I'm sorry about earlier it's not fair that I left you for someone else and I'm the one left happy when it's my fault you were upset with me in the first place. You can be with who ever you want to be with you deserve to be happy.

I didn't know how I feel about this but I texted him back.

To Cam: Matt and I aren't a thing.

From Cam: then why were you guys holding hands

To Cam: he's helping me pic up the pieces that you broke of my heart, I fucking love you Cameron. And it's impossible to just get over it.

It Cameron awhile to reply but he did.

From Cameron: I love you to but Ashley, maybe later in life we can give it another chance.

I sighed in confusion

To Cam: tell me I'm not making a mistake. Tell me you're worth the wait , and that you're always going to be here. Make me believe that I'm making the right decision by still holding on.

Cam read it but didn't reply....
So I went on relaxing in the tub.

I heard the front door open thinking Chrissy came home.
The door flung open
It wasn't Chrissy.

"Cameron".....