Sunken Ships

10

The day ended full of love and happiness. Hindi ko alam kung bakit biglang naging ganoon si tatay. I am not aware of what might be the reason behind but the sincerity of his words to me and his all time best hugs gave me enough assurance that everything will be okay.

Until later that night...

We just finished dinner and was preparing for a bath. Nauna na ako sa kwarto habang ang mga magulang ay naiwan sa baba para maglinis. I do not know but I find it odd for them to still talk about what happened earlier this day. Ang dahilan ng pagpapaakyat sa akin agad.

I figured that it is so important so I let them talk. Kapareho kanina ay wala pa din akong nalaman ngunit hindi ko naramdaman na kailangan 'kong alamin ang lahat. I don't know. Everything is odd even I today.

I was busy scrubbing my body when I heard them shouting downstairs. Akala ko ay mali lamang ako ng dinig ngunit ng maulit ay dahan-dahan kong binaba ang ginagamit na pangkuskos at pinakinggan ang mga magulang.

Unable to move for a moment, thinking if I did then I'll miss out something about the cause of all the shouting. Tuluyan ko nang tinabi ang scrubbing foam at balak nang magbanlaw upang sana ay bumaba na. But they suddenly stopped and then nothing. It was so quite like a television on full volume and was turned off removing any kind of sound to listen to.

Nag-aalinlangan man ay mas pinili 'kong ipagpatuloy ang paliligo. I would just ask about it later after my bath, hoping that they will tell me. The whole thing this morning cause a kind of wall between us.

Even at dinner, something doesn't seem right. Yes, they talk to each other and I do the same but tonight made me a bit hesitant to talk and ask anything about the said matter. At mukhang ganoon din ang mga magulang. I even think that they are just doing it for my sake. You know, casually talking as if everything is fine and nothing actually happened that turned the day upside-down.

Pagkatapos maligo ay mabilis akong nagbihis. Nakaugalian ko na na ayusin ang susuotin at mga gagamitin bago maligo, at ngayon ko nakuha ang kahalagahan noon dahil mas kailangan 'kong bilisan. I don't know but there is something irking within me, kanina pa simula nang umalis yung lalaki.

Nang makababa ay katahimikan ang unang bumungad sa akin. They are far away from each other and looking anywhere but towards each other. Medyo magulo ang buhok ni nanay at mukhang nagha-habol ng hininga. Malayo ang tingin ngunit pumupuslit tuwing magagawi sa ibang banda ang tingin ni tatay.

Tatay would do the same as he looked wrecked than ever. He seemed frustrated about something while his eyes are bloodshot. Hindi ko maintindihan ang nangyayari kaya pinanatili ko ang sarili na tahimik din at mas piniling manuod sa tuktok ng hagdan.

That stayed for over a minute before I saw how my father stood up and weakly walked towards my mother. Nanghihina din itong bumagsak sa harap ni nanay at parang nagmamakaawang lumuhod. He then reached for both of her hands and kissed them before I heard her sobs and whisper.

Nagulat ako. I stared in utter silence as the scenario unfold before me. Hindi ko masyadong marinig ang sinasabi ni tatay dahil sila lang dalawa ang nakakarinig na mukhang 'pang sinadya niya.

Pilit na hindi tinignan ni nanay si tatay habang patuloy si tatay sa mukhang panunuyo niya.

And that's when it hit me. They never bother asking each other what the reason might be head on and let each other the hugs and eyes do the talking. But I think this time is a different case.

Alam ko naman na sa bandang huli ay hindi din nila matitiis ang isa't-isa at papatawarin din kung ano 'mang pagkakamali ang nagawa, but seeing my mother act this way makes me think about the thing I am not aware yet.