When you're drunk || Karlnap

chapter twenty two

"What's wrong?", the worry in Karl's voice was piercing, leaving a permanent dent in Sapnap's heart.

There was a silence at first.

"It's just been three stupid years since my grandma passed away", he pressed, a choked laugh slipping through his lips, just like a tear slipped out of his eye. The brunet wiped it away again. He slowly swung his arms around the smaller boy's torso, pulling him into a tight hug. He felt him slightly sobbing into his shoulder, still he heard how he tried to muffle the sobs, his hurt, his feelings. It again hurt Karl. He shouldn't feel the need to hide himself in front of him and yet he did. Another thought of him was that maybe he's not comfortable enough around the taller boy to show his real feelings, his soft side. A thought that made Karl sick to his stomach. He wanted the boy to be as comfortable as possible with him and he wanted him to feel safe and loved.

"I'm so sorry, Sapnap", the brunet whispered softly.

They remained like that for a few minutes, Karl's hand just slowly caressing the other boy's back, while he's crying in his arms. A stupid, yet lovely idea popped up in the taller boy's brain.

"Hey, do you know the tangled movie?", he asked.

"What?", Sapnap leaned back a little bit and revealed the frown on his forehead.

"Do you know the scene where they light these lights on Rapunzels birthday... or the day she vanished I don't kn-", - "I know what you mean, yeah", the smaller boy interrupted him, a small chuckle escaping his lips. Karl smiled at it.

"I-I used to light a light like these on the day my cat passed away... I know this is nothing to compar-", he stopped himself as Sapnap's eyes started sparkling again, the tears behind them so close to falling down.

"I didn't mean to upset you, oh my god. Sap, I'm so sorry I-", he got interrupted again by a couple of soft lips on his. They both melted into the sudden kiss and the feelings it developed inside them.

"That's such a lovely idea, Karl", the smaller boy whispered.

The brunet felt his heart doing a skip, proud that he came up with the idea and happy that it would maybe make Sapnap feel better after it. Karl used to feel better after it, he somehow felt closer to his old cat, that she really saw the light flying into heaven, to her.

Sapnap took the other boy's hand and intertwined them. "Let's get these lamps", he kissed the back of Karl's hand softly.

Half an hour later, they were standing in the back of the smaller boy's backyard, the lamp in his shaking hand. The brunet placed his hand carefully on Sapnap's, giving him halt and secure, the need to show him that he's here and not alone so strong inside him. The green eyes were shining at Karl's and as the pink lips of Sapnap formed into a small smile, they lighted the lamp and carefully let go of it. The wind blow it a little bit to the side, yet it was hovering above them and flying into the sky. The taller boy sneaked his arm around Sapnap's torso, pulling him in a little bit. His head fell down on Karl's shoulder and he buried it down into it.

"She was the only one who accepted me, you know?", he mumbled. Karl barely heard it.

They were silent, the brunet felt that Sapnap still wanted to say something so he let him continue: "She knew everything about me. About my sexuality, about my drinking problems and about my dad... she wanted to contact the police but I told her not to".

"Why not?", Karl tried to keep his voice low.

"It would only make him more angrier and what if... imagine he would somehow get away with it and he would go to grandma an-", a sob cut him off.

The brunet swung his other arm around him as well, pulling him even more closer. He felt his heart swelling and the hurt he felt for the boy. Sapnap lost the one person who was there for him, who accepted him and who loved him really.

"Shhh", the hand was running down and up on the back of the smaller boy again, comforting him.

Karl felt a tear rolling down his cheek as well and he buried his head down on Sapnap's, smelling the smell of him and instantly getting lost in it. He had never met such a broken person and he had never felt the need to be there for them so much.

And in that moment Sapnap promised to himself that he'd do this every year from now on, every year on this day and hopefully every year with Karl.

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Hey, thank you for reading chapter twenty two! I hope you like it :D Stay healthy & ily <3

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