Tessa and Hardin and everything in between

8

"Do you think she is comfortable"Tessa asks me and I look back in the mirror Tessa is sitting in the back with our new born daughter Emery "I'm sure she is"I say to her I can't believe we are actually bringing her home from the hospital that we have a daughter

We get back to our apartment Tessa climbs out and I take out Emerys car seat "baby this is your home"I say and Tessa wraps her arms around mine as we get inside

"I'm so excited to be home"Tessa tells me we go straight to the bedroom I let Tessa take Emery out I get so nervous holding her she is just so small "she is just so beautiful"Tessa smiles out beautiful daughter she unzips her suit taking her out "What do we do"I ask her "I'm not sure..just watch her"she says in the hospital the nurses where helping changing her and bathing her and now it's just us two and we are quieter clueless I read all the baby books and stuff like that but they don't show you what to do when you actually have the baby

"Ohh she's opening her eyes"Tessa says and Emery is opening her little eyes probably wondering where she is "hello baby your home now"I can just already see the love in Tessa's eyes every time she looks at her Emery starts putting her arms out and opening her mouth "I think she's hungry"

Tessa sits back at the headboard and I carefully pick up Emery placing her in her arms she lifts up her shirt and she starts feeding straight away and Tessa winces "are you ok"

"Ye it just feels weird I still need to get used to it"she tells me "you don't need to drive yourself love if you want to bottle feed you can that's no problem"I try soothe her I know she hasn't really had much of a milk supply but she really wants to breastfeed I just don't want her putting pressure on herself as long as the baby is feed that's all that matter "no I want to do it"she looks down at Emery who is sucking away

She starts to pull away spitting up the milk Tessa sits her up patting her bag lightly "someone is in a food coma"I joke her eyes are half opening with milk drooling down her chin and she lets out a little burp
"What is that disgusting smell"I say "that smell is your baby I think she went the toilet"Tessa lays her out and unbuttons her baby grow I grab the wipes and new diaper this is one thing I don't like

"There all clean"I say trying to button her back up struggling "here like this"Tessa shows me "your fingers are to big"she jokes Tessa gets up from the bed and puts Emery in her crib she gets back beside me yawing "why don't you sleep"I suggest "sleep I can't sleep"

"You have barely slept in the last 48 hours"

"But the baby"she points to the crib "the baby is also sleeping that means you can sleep"I say to her "I'm..not..even..tried"she yawns through the whole sentence

"She you can't even say that without yawing"I tease her and she rolls her eyes "just close your eyes"

"I'm not really going to sleep"she mumbles but within a minute she is sleeping I can hear her light snores and I can than feel my eyes starting to close..

My eyes slowly open and Tessa is alt he'd into me and than I remember Emery I try carefully to get Tessa of me and hurry over to the crib she is wide awake just laying there "hi little one are you awake"I say and she jumps a bit I must have startled her, her lip starts to tremble "oh no don't cry shh"she lets out a tiny cry and I pick her up and the minute I do she stops "I'm your daddy you don't need to be frightened"she looks up at me meeting my eyes "you are the best little girl aren't you"I place a tiny kiss on her nose and she crinkles it just like Tessa she moves her head a bit and than gives a tiny little smile "you just smiled"I say

Tessa

I wake up and Hardin is cradling Emery I get up out of bed and walk over to them "how is she"I stroke her little cheek "she is doing perfectly fine she smiled"he tells me "she did do you think she will do it again"

"I'm sure she will baby are you going to give a smile for your mummy"Hardin says and she gives a small little smile "thats is the cutest thing ever"I say and my stomach rumbles " I'm straying should we make food"I suggest "let's just order tonight it will be easier"Hardin says and I agree I really wasn't in the mood for cooking I take Emery firm him and he goes out to order food "are you baby"I rock her back and forth and she holds my shirt with her little tiny hand "pizza is on the way"

I go out to the living room placing Emery in her chair I feel like I can't even just get up and go the bathroom because I don't want to leave her alone

"What are you thinking about"Hardin sits beside me "just the baby we can't leave her alone our lives are completely different"All through my pregnancy Hardin was the one freaking out and I was so chill now it's the opposite way around "well we can leave her alone sometimes"

"What if I'm home alone with her and need to go to the bathroom"I tell him "then you go to the bathroom "button than she will be left alone"

"Tessa she will be fine it's not lien you will be gone for hours it's two minutes I'm sure she will survive"

"I guess your right I'm probably just overreacting all these thought are just coming to my head now it's not going to be me and you anymore"I tell him "it's still will be me and you love"he takes my hand "but now we have a new addition and we can still have our time together"he says and we hear a knock on the door he goes to answer bringing back pizza "this smells so good"I say taking a bite but then Merry starts to cry "I'll get her"I go outer to her taking her out "shhh"I cradle her sitting back down with her in my arms "do you need help Hardin asks as he sees me struggling trying to get my food with Emery in one arm

I get her more comfortable and I have a free hand than to eat my food it is different now trying to look after your self and another person at the same time because I'm obviously going to put her needs first when we are done Hardin cleans up he comes back out turning in the tv "how is our little one"

"She is sleeping again"I tell him looking down at her "I need to take a shower"i really don't feel like having one but I also feel disgusting

"Go have one love"he rubs my back "I don't really want to have one alone"I say quietly and I see a smile play on his lip "you want me to shower with you?"

"Maybe"

"Well I won't say no to that"he says "but what about the baby"I remind him "we don't have to watch her even when she is sleeping let's go now before she is awake for her next feed"

"Fine"I place Emery in her chair and I follow Hardin down straight to the bathroom straight away he has the water on and is changed "come on love"

"Ye I think I'll take a shower after you"

"Why just come in"he tried to get me in he switches of the water standing back out "I just remembered I don't want you to see me naked"

"See you naked how long have we been together"

"It's just I.. my buddy is not the same as it was"I tell him "and you think I care Tessa I love your body and I think I love it even more now don't be ashamed you just had a baby"

"Ye but..."

"No I'm telling you know your body is stunning I get hard even thinking about it and I want to see it right now without them clothes on"he tells me "fine you get in first than"I say to him and he turns the shower back on I take of my clothes and he puts his hand out for me to stay in I stay turned so my back is facing him I fell him out the soap onto my back and he rubs  it around my back and he feels so good a slight moan comes out of my lips "turn around"he says softly and I do and he just looks at me "these I love these"he washes over my breast "careful their sensitive"I remind him and he grabs my face kissing me "if I could fuck you right now I would"

"6 weeks"I say out of breathe that's one thing I'm not looking forward to "I guess we should stop"he pulls away "I think we are clean"I smile at him and we both  stand out drying ourselves he gives me his shirt and I put it on

"She is still sleeping"Hardin says when we get back out to the living room "she will probably wake up soon for a final feed before bed"and just as I say that she wakes up "Hardin will you bring her into the room"I ask him I go in and get a class of water and than go to the bedroom I change Emery and give her one last feed before bed "goodnight baby"I last her in her crib climbing into bed

"Well we survived one day as parents I think where good at this"Hardin pulls me close to him "I think we are"I wrap my arm around him