A First Love to Die For

Chapter Nine- Flashes Of The Past

(Josie's POV)

I wasn't interested in having too much to drink, wanting to stay alert. Hailey wanted to work out early in the morning, so we both switched to soda water and decided to shut it down around 9:30.

Gabriel and Lincoln paid their tabs and came over to see if Hailey was ready to go. She was bubbling over with happiness as Gabriel dragged her out the door.

I loved watching the two of them and seeing how good they still were together.  It gave me hope for my romantic future. I wanted someone that still lit me up years after being together.

Lincoln stood there awkwardly and shuffled his feet for a minute. "You good to go too?"

I raised an eyebrow at him and he sighed, "Josie could we please just talk?"

I wasn't exactly sure what he was up to but figured I could hear him out. I nodded and he looked around and said, "Do you think we could go upstairs? You know the walls in here have ears."

I looked around too and couldn't help but laugh, noticing that we were the center of attention. God damned small towns.

People were trying to pretend they weren't watching us like we were their favourite TV show, but they were really bad at being both sneaky and subtle. I smiled and nodded. Lincoln flashed me his killer dimples and we went outside together.

Just outside the doors to the brewery was the entrance for the upstairs apartments. Lincoln gave me a shy smile, "I know you do this all the time, but I figured, I would sleep better if I saw you to your apartment."

I knew I could handle myself. I knew that he wasn't going to find anything because Lucy had all kinds of security set up and she would have alerted both Lee and I if I was about to be ambushed.

But, I figured, it couldn't hurt to let him feel better. I ignored the heart flutters and warned my vagina to lock' er down, knowing how he impacted me. Was I melting a little bit at the fact that he cared? Absolutely. He didn't need to know that though. I nonchalantly shrugged and said, "Knock yourself out."

As we walked into the apartment, I noticed him running his hand through his hair, a habit I remembered that he had when he was nervous.

He was silent for a moment and to fill the silence, I asked him if he wanted something to drink. "No thanks. Look Josie, I didn't want to do this earlier because it didn't feel right. I just wanted to say, I'm really glad that you're back home. I know that we didn't end the best, but I also know that I've missed having you in my life and I would love it if we could be friends. It would be nice if we could all spend time together again and I know my family would love for you to spend time with us while you are here. I don't want to be the reason that you don't come around."

The silence lasted too long as I considered him. I wasn't expecting this and couldn't help but notice that he hadn't apologized for the hurt of the past. I didn't want to make it awkward for the people we cared about but I also didn't want to gloss over it either. "I think maybe it would be best if we just focus on the job."

I let that hang in the air as he walked towards the door. I hated the fact that he looked defeated. Why did I feel like the bad guy here? He looked back as he stood in the entryway, "I'll see you tomorrow."

I heard him stop at the top of the staircase and wait to hear the lock. Why did he still have such an impact on me? Why did my heart pitter-patter at the fact that he cared for me at all? I hit the deadbolt and told myself to sort it out.

As I got ready for bed, I got lost in thinking about the past and how our whole relationship started with Lincoln taking care of me.

It had been the summer before our last year of high school. A crazy hot summer. I hadn't planned on going to the big Fenelon Canada Day bash that year but as per usual, Hailey managed to persuade me. 

Back then she had a thing for Gabriel, but he wasn't exactly in the market for a girlfriend. Although they hadn't gotten together yet, she was constantly trying to go to parties, hoping to get his attention.

On this particular day, she was all over me to join. My dad was away so I was lonely. Some fireworks, a few drinks and the lake seemed like a good way to beat the heat. 

As we walked onto the beach, I felt super uncomfortable. Hailey had somehow convinced me to wear my white bikini and I had felt super scandalous. Although it was more modest than most teenage bikinis, with a larger halter and a high waist, I still felt a lot naked and the whole town was there.

I smiled thinking about it, Hailey always could talk me out of my comfort zone. She was good for me. Especially back then because after my mom died, I hadn't retreated into a shell and very rarely wanted to socialize.

She had always known exactly what I needed and had been able to give me a gentle push when necessary. On this particular weekend, since my dad was away at a conference, I had decided to have a couple of drinks. My dad could sense booze and so I tended to steer clear because it wasn't worth the lecture.

Harold was manning the make-shift bar and had always thought my dad was too strict. He didn't mind serving the occasional underage beverage.

I remember swimming and playing some volleyball. I had gotten carried away because after volleyball, I had turned down a beer that Stephie had handed me. She had laughed when I had said no and being a stupid teenager, I had allowed it to spiral me into beer after beer.  

The night had gone from dancing and feeling great to waking up on my bathroom floor with Lincoln and Hailey spread out in my bedroom. Lincoln had explained that he had noticed I was wobbly and wanted to make sure that I made it home safe.

Jesus, I hadn't actually thought about that night in years. Looking back on it, I had most likely been roofied.

I rolled over and grabbed my phone to text Lucy. We had highlighted the fact in the report today that each of our victims had traces of Rohypnol in their system.

Could our killer have been dabbling even back then??

I asked her to investigate roofie or rape victims going 10- 20 years back.

What if that's how our killer started? We'd be able to track or at least see the perp escalating over the years. It was a long shot, but everyone started somewhere.

I put my phone back on the bedside table and went back to thinking about Lincoln. From the moment I woke up that morning, Lincoln had stayed with me making sure that I was okay. We had spent the days until my dad got home, watching movies, playing games and falling hard for each other.

For the rest of the summer and into the last year of high school we had been inseparable. Lincoln had graduated and gone back for a leap year.

He had always told me that he had wanted one more year with me before we went to university. At the time, I had believed everything out of his mouth. Now, When I thought about it, I doubted it was anything more than wanting to increase his marks.

We had even talked about changing our university choices so we could stay together but he had insisted that we could survive being apart. That four year was just a sliver of our time together. Unfortunately, it wasn't till we were finished our four years that I realized, long distance gave him more freedom to cheat.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to turn off my brain as our first kiss played over and over in my head. It appeared that I needed the reminder that he had shattered my heart. I shifted over to the cool side of the bed getting comfortable and telling myself to pump some ice into my fluttery heart.

I fell asleep thinking about that first kiss, and about how unfair it was that Lincoln was the only man that had ever given me those butterflies that you hear about in movies or read about in romance novels. It was almost criminal that it ended like it did.