𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐒𝐢𝐧 (𝟏𝟖+)

𝟑𝟖 || 𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐭 & 𝐅𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞

"Please Amera, I only need 5 minutes."

Do I want to hear what he has to tell me? Yes

Do I want to be alone with him? No

Did I miss him? Maybe a little

Damn, I hate myself.

I exhaled heavily before turning to Alexander and smiling slightly, but he didn't return my smile. He stared at me blankly, his hold around my waist tightened.

"Go, I'll catch up with you" I said, and his face immediately showed that he didn't like my answer, but there wasn't much he could do in that situation. Not with all of these people around. Not with my father and his wife close.

I didn't wait for his answer, I couldn't. I left him alone there, as I headed to our inner garden, hearing Jacob's footsteps behind me. Damn, why is my whole body trembling? I can't still tremble from his presence, it's been too long.

I sat on the first bench I saw, I can't trust my fucking legs right now. I feel like I can pass away any second.

He sat next to me, with a good distance between us, but he's still too close for my liking.

I looked ahead, avoiding his gaze. I don't want to look at his face. Memories are coming back with every look I give him and I tried so hard to lock them deep in myself.

"I know that whatever I say now won't fix us and what I did" he finally said almost as a whisper, after a few minutes of complete silence.

I nodded in agreement, still looking ahead, "Yep, that's true."

A small part of me missed being in Jacob's presence, no matter how much I don't want to admit it. He'll always have a part of me. Always, no matter what.

Even without looking at him, I can see that he's staring at me, studying every part of my face as if seeing me for the first time.

"Believe me, I can't forgive myself for what I did too."

Silence. A slow killing silence. I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't, I don't know what to fucking say, my brain is not working properly right now.

"You broke me, Jacob'' I finally spoke back, feeling my voice much weaker than before. No matter how strong I'm trying to be, the memories are still fucking haunting me. Him and this fucking bitch kissing in front of my face.Her words. The betrayal. Everything.

"I know" he agreed, sighing. "And you have no idea how sorry I am for that."

"Is that why you work for my father? To fix your mistake?" I asked with a slight tone of a sneer, looking at him for the first time since we're here.

He pursed his lips in a straight line, clenching his jaw before saying, "Actually, it was his idea. I just came to see you after I came back from England, but he told me you went to Los Angeles." he shook his head as if remembering something "I asked him to tell me exactly where are you so I could come to see you, but he said it's better for both of us for me to not do it."

"England?" I asked, raising my eyebrows in confusion, ignoring everything else that he said "What were you doing in England?"

He chuckled softly under his breath, showing his perfect white teeth. He is handsome. He's always been handsome.

"I lived with my father for a while there" he shrugged, taking his eyes off me. "After everything that happened, I just wanted to start fresh. I knew you wouldn't forgive me, and that killed me from the inside because every place in this damn city reminded me of you. It was a fucking torture for me to stay here. "