Bear Heart (Book 2)

Chapter 28

28. Morning

CLAIR JORDAN

I woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs sizzling in the kitchen. The scent was heavenly, and I was tempted to follow it out of bed. I actually would have if something hadn't held me to keep me from leaving. It was an arm, and it had a firm lock on me. At first, I was confused, then embarrassed. Kenai was making it very hard to get over my feelings him. I debated whether or not I should move his arm or leave it be. He was snuggled up right behind me, breathing slowly and consistently, deep in sleep. I couldn't turn around to see him, but I wouldn't even if I could. His face was buried in my hair, and turning would bring me way too close. It was weird knowing that my guardian had a girlfriend, yet still wrapped his arm around me in his sleep as if his girlfriend were me. I hated the fact that I wasn't, but at least for now, I could enjoy feeling like I was. At least for now, I could feel his arm around me like this. I closed my eyes, snuggling the tiniest bit closer, relishing the warmth.

I thought back to yesterday, my mood automatically plummeting. I felt so awful for the way I had acted towards Kenai. I had gotten so jealous that we were having a moment but we couldn't do anything about it. He would do things all day that made it feel like he really had feelings for me, but I'd always have to remind myself that it wasn't going to happen because of her.

For some reason, he didn't seem to want to talk to Kate this whole trip, or even about her. He'd become irritated whenever she would be brought up. Were they fighting already? Regardless, I still treated him horribly due to my jealousy. He had come all the way to the airport to find me on a moment's notice, paid over $3,000 dollars just to follow me to New York, gotten into major trouble with his parents, all for me, and I had treated him like that. I'm afraid that I could drive him away if I don't get my act together. I should be happy that he had his memories back, but I was treating him like the scum of the earth. I was a horrible friend.

New York hadn't done much to help me be kinder. The closer we got to New York, the more stressed out I had become, and the more I began to panic. When we landed in Washington, I had to excuse myself so I could try to calm down in the bathroom. I ended up bursting into tears over everything: over the trial, over my mom, over the way I had acted and my frustration that I couldn't be with the one I loved. I was trying so hard to keep all of my pieces tightly together so I wouldn't break down. Of course, it didn't work. Maybe I was just weak. Thankfully, Kenai was there to comfort me, but even with my guardian with me, all of the pressure was really starting to suffocate me. I think it was the reason why I had a nightmare last night.

I don't remember exactly where I was, but I knew that it was somewhere in Manhattan. It was dark, and I was walking by myself. Someone was following me, and I was running down street after street trying to get away. I remember thinking that it was my mother's killer. I remember running down a dead-end alleyway. Just when the killer was getting closer, I saw a raven land on a fence not too far away from me. I knew it was Takeena, and I asked her to help me, but she just stared at me. I kept asking, begging, but she just stood there. Then, she told me something that terrified me. "Why should I help you when you deceived me?" Just as I was about to be killed, it was all gone. I don't know what, but something had suddenly made everything go away. Takeena and the killer had disappeared, and dark Manhattan had changed to beautiful Alaska. I was by the waterfall again, lying on the floor, just looking up at the trees. Someone had told me that everything would be okay.

Takeena showing up in my dreams terrified me. Was she really angry that Kenai's memories had returned? Or was all of the pressure just reaching my head? Something didn't feel right. I felt her presence here. Not just in Liz's living room, but in all of Manhattan. All of New York. I felt her here, and it scared me.