Red vs Blue x Male OC / Season 4

S4 - E15 - Getting Debreifed

Donut: Oh sure, everyone knows who you are but me.

Simmons: No, the Blues don't know either.

Blue Base
With Church and Sheila.

Church: "Hey Sheila where'd that Simmons guy go that was spyin' on us?"

Sheila: "I don't know, why don't you go ask your new jeep?"

Back at Red Base
Sarge and Shadow emerge and join Donut in the roof.

Shadow: "What the hell's going on up here?"

Donut: "There's an enemy tryin' to get in to the base."

Sarge: "Where?"

Donut: "Right there."

Sarge: "...Where, behind Simmons?"

Simmons: "He means me, guys."

Donut: "Ohhh, Simmons. Why didn't you tell me it was you?"

Simmons: "Donut, I did tell you it was me!"

Donut: "Well you didn't say it was you, you just kept saying "I'm me."

Simmons: I am me.

Donut: "But you didn't say you were you. If you had said you were you instead of "I'm me," I would have known that you were you. You just kept saying you were me."

Simmons: "That's because I'm me."

Grif: "And thus ends another meeting of the pronoun club. Same time next week everybody."

Simmons: "Well, now that we have that straightened out, I have some important information."

Sarge: "I don't want to hear it, Blue."

Simmons: "What? This is valuable information about the war."

Sarge: There's no such thing as valuable information, from a traitor!

Simmons: "But Sir, I only did that because no one would believe me about the tank."

Shadow: "I did."

Simmons: "Other than you Red Arrow."

Donut: "Sarge, Simmons has issues with his father that he displaces on you."

Simmons: "No Donut, that's why I punched Sarge in the face. I left the base because I wasn't fulfilling my undying need to please other people."

Sarge: "Alright, enough. The next person who tells me about Simmons' feelings is gettin' Court-Martialed."

Grif: "Simmons likes to go in the bathroom and cry while he punches the mirror. Well, I'll go pack my bags... Nice workin' with you guys. Good luck with the Blues. It's been real."

Blood Gulch
Meanwhile. Tucker, Ash, and Caboose, who's carrying Andy, were approaching Blue Base

Church: "Oh, look who's back, the conquering heroes, what's up guys?"

Tucker: "Meh."

Church: "Hey where's Tex?"

Tucker: "Gone."

Church: "Where's the alien?"

Ash: "Dead."

Church: "Well how'd the quest go?"

Tucker: "Failed."

Church: Yeah you know I... I probably didn't even have to ask that last question, did I.

Andy: Eh I wouldn't say "failed," but these guys definitely screwed it up royally.

Tucker: "What? We didn't do anything!"

Zeta appears.

Zeta: "Exactly. You let Tex and Ash do all the work and got the alien killed."

Tucker: "Yeah, but doing nothing is what we do. So, technically we didn't screw anything up."

Caboose: "It's true, I have a first place ribbon in doing nothing. It's the same ribbon as last place. It's purple."

Zeta: "Why am I not surprised?"

Church: "Well is Tex okay?"

Ash: "She's ok Church. "

Tucker: "None of us are that lucky. She chased after Wyoming."

Church: "Tex?"

Tucker: "Yeah."

Church: "Wyoming?"

Tucker: "Yes."

Caboose: Massachusetts.

Tucker: "Seriously, stop it."

Church: "Tucker, why didn't you tell me this?"

Tucker: "Tell you when? We just got here."

Church: "Yeah but you've been wasting my time gabbing about your stupid failed quest."

Andy: "Eh, I really wouldn't say "failed" here..."

Tucker: "This conversation's stupid, and I'm hungry, where's the food."

Church: "Listen, any time you have new information for me, just tell it to me as quickly as possible. Okay?"

Tucker: "Well here's one short, blanket statement that covers all future situations: We. Suck."

Church: "I said new information."

Tucker: "Don't we have anything to eat in this place?"

Zeta turned to Ash.

Zeta: "Remind me how you managed to put up with these guys?"

Ash: "You kinda just learn to turn it out. Hey Zeta, would you mind helping me with a project I'm working on?"

Zeta: "Sure." She said cheerfully and Ash walked inside into his room and walked over to his desk.

Ash took out a case from underneath and placed it on the table. He opened the case to reveal a type of pistol. It was a high-caliber revolver with eight high-penetrating, depleted plasma rounds. Perfect for blasting anything. It was gun metal grey with red detailing and had two spade insignias on it.

Zeta: "A revolver?"

Ash: "I figured... Why not?"