Infamous Last Words | ONC 2021 Honourable Mention | ✔

Chapter 5: Sticks and sand

The first thing I did after pointing Isla in the right direction was pick up a long, thick stick, which wasn't actually as stupid as it sounds.

Isla didn't need to think twice before rushing into a dangerous situation, which was just what she did after I showed her the way. Why would she need to be as cautious as I was, anyway? She'd been in the army, had handled killing monsters, if I remembered it right. An encounter with a bulldog-seal creature or a bundip or whatever the hell she'd called it wouldn't be at all intimidating to her, business as usual, even if the beast in question had long tusks to impale her with and was the size of a leonberger.

But me? I hadn't had that kind of training, wasn't a hero in close combat, or any kind of combat, for that matter. My flight response tended to overpower my fight response at all times. And unlike Isla, I wasn't armed. My boss had a weapon, that silver machete, sharp enough to slice through flesh with ease as it gleamed in the light of Algor's sun. I, on the other hand, had nothing to defend myself with, nothing to fend off the horrors hiding all around me here.

That was where the stick came in: If I had to risk ending up in a violent confrontation with a snarling creature straight out of Hell, I'd sell my life dearly. Instead of being helpless and going down without a fight if push came to shove, I'd hit whatever came at me in the face with a stick at least once or twice before it ate me. It would be a dignified end to my time on Earth.

Thus, armed with a piece of wood to inflict minor physical damage, I ran after Isla, who was racing for the clearing where Rambo Junior was trapped. She was more in shape than I was, for she was so fast I began to wonder if she'd been living on more than the meagre rations of energy bars and dried foods we'd brought along with us.

"What the hell is a bundip?" I yelled at her as I strained to keep up. "Doesn't sound like it's from around these parts!"

"Bunyip," Isla corrected me without looking back. "They're not native to Algor, or this country, for that matter. Blasted creature smugglers bring them in illegally for blood sports and now they're a fucking invasive species. Downright irresponsible, if you ask me!"

I would have laughed at the irony of it all if I hadn't been out of breath. Isla, who'd committed at least half of all the crimes I could name, deeming creature smuggling of all things 'irresponsible' was hilarious to me. Though I could understand where she was coming from if she'd dealt with monster infestations in the army, it still reminded me that the human moral compass was a strange, strange thing.

"What's our plan?" I shouted when we reached the clearing, Isla already ahead of me. With that machete in her hands, I was grateful for the distance between us.

"What do you mean, 'plan'?" was what I got for a reply. My boss didn't waste time, already rushing at the bunyip with the intention to strike. The creature backed away at the sight of her silver weapon, baring its teeth, sharp teeth. I didn't want anything to do with that thing and I didn't think I'd have to fight it either; I was confident Isla would skin it alive and turn it into a fine throw rug before it got a chance to reach me.

No plan, then. Improvisation time. If Isla handled the bunyip, the boy and the sword would be my responsibility. I turned in his direction, taking the scene in as fast as I could. Rambo Junior still struggled as the ivy had him bound tight, though his movements were slowing, chest moving up and down as he breathed heavily. That kid was exhausted, and if he gave up the fight, those vines around him would constrict, leaving him vulnerable or choking him to death.

"Hold on over there! I'm coming to help you!" I called out to him, holding my trusty stick up as if I were Napoleon marching into battle with a sword held high. Isla could have her murder beast and I would take care of the plant; an excellent division of tasks. I sped towards the teenager, ready to be a hero and to be showered with praise soon.