enchanted ↠ charlie gillespie

nine

⚠️warning: mentions of abortion and miscarriage⚠️
— • —

It's been a few days since Charlie and I kissed. I never answered his text which was stupid of me because I read it so he definitely knows i'm avoiding him. Lucky for me I guess is that I haven't seen him often on set, If I did I quickly walked out of the room or in the opposite I direction of him. I haven't had feelings for anyone since my ex and it's really scary for me.

I still haven't told Savannah anything, even though i'm pretty sure she knows what has happened. She's seen what happens when Charlie and I are in the same room together.

"Hey, Sawyer." I hear from behind me as I am at craft services. I turn around to see a familiar blonde boy.

"Hey Owen. What's up?" I ask eating the fruit snacks I grabbed.

"This may seem blunt but, why are you avoiding Charlie?" He looks at me in my eyes so I know he's being serious. I'm not surprised if Charlie told him what happened, they are best friends and live together.

"I'm not avoiding him." I mumble, stuffing more fruit snacks into my mouth.

"Sawyer. He told me what happened. Did he do something?"

"No." I pause and sigh. "It was me."

"I'm confused."

"Look, Owen. I know you mean well but, I haven't even talked to Savannah yet and... stuff has happened to me, in the past. I haven't talked about it with anyone but my parents and I don't know if I want to talk about it with anyone else. Right now."

"Okay, I understand. Just, I know he really likes you. Please talk to him." He places his hands on my shoulders.

"I will. Eventually. Promise." I smile and he pulls me into a hug.

— • —

Coming home from set with Savannah I take off my shoes and plop onto the couch with a groan. I hear Savannah laugh and plop on the other side of the couch.

"So." I hear her say after awhile.

"So?" I question her. I have a feeling what direction this is about to go.

"Charlie." I sit up and look over at her and she smiles.

"What about him?" I shrug braving one of the pillows on the couch and hold it in my lap.

"Sawyer, what happened, why are you avoiding him?"

"We kissed." I admit, hugging the pillow closer to me.

"Okay, I figured and before I freak out over the fact that you guys kissed, I thought you liked him. Why are you avoiding him. He came up to me today and asked me and I had no idea why and he looked hurt so sawyer why are you avoiding him?" She places a hand on my arm.

"I'm scared." I mumble into the pillow, tears brimming in my eyes. "My ex."

"What about him?"

"We started dating when I was 15, and after a year of dating he kept asking and asking to have sex and eventually I gave in. I was not where near ready but his reasoning was out friends where doing it and we should to." Tears start to fall down my face. I look over at Savannah who wraps her arms around me and holds me as I continue my story. "He never wanted to use a condom so eventually I got pregnant. I was fucking terrified. 16 and pregnant. All the dreams I had went away and I was scared." Savannah's hand goes to my head and runs her fingers through my hair. Tears streaming down my face now. "I told him and my mom and decided I couldn't go through with an abortion. So I started to prepare to become a mom. Then..." I pause and wipe my tears and take a deep breath. "I lost the baby. Worst day of my life." I start to sob.

"Shhh." Savannah holds me as I sob into her shirt. "It's okay." She holds me for a few more minutes. Before I continue.

"My ex thought I went through with an abortion and he yelled at me. Blaming me that it was all my fault. That I was a whore and a slut and all the bad things you could possibly say. He then just left. My mom held my for days before I saw him again. And when I did I went to his house and his mom let me in saying he was up in his room and I find him having sex with the this girl. She was miss popular. He looks at me in shock and I just ran. I got into my car and went home and cried into my mom again. He come over and try to say he's sorry and it just happened but I ended it where he yelled again and my dad almost beat the shot out of him and I should've let him. But, comes to find out he was sleeping with her for a couple months and I've been terrified to be in a relationship since and that's why I ran from Charlie after I kissed him and been avoiding him."

I start crying again. Savannah just holds me in her arms kind of like how my mom did when it first happened. "I'm so sorry that happened to you." She whispers. "You didn't deserve that." She pulls away from me. "You do know Charlie would never hurt you right?"

"Yeah, I know. But that hurt me so bad that any kind of relationship with a guy that gets to more than friends scares the ever living shit out of me."

"Are you going to tell Charlie?"

"Eventually, I will. I care so much about him and I know he deserves an answer and to know why."

"I love you Sawyer." Savannah pulls me back into a hug.

"I love you too. And thanks for listening." I squeeze her.

"I'm always here to listen."

— • —

Going to set the next day I was determined to talk to Charlie. I don't know if I was going to tell him everything but I knew he needed to know how I feel and that nothing was his fault.

"Hey Madi!" I tell as I see Madi walking somewhere. "Have you seen Charlie?"

"I last saw him with Owen in his trailer a few minutes ago. They're probably still there." She answers.

"Awesome. Thanks Mads!" I give her a quick hug and walk towards Owens trailer.

I slowly walk up to the door and knock. I all of a sudden feel nervous and that I shouldn't do this now and should turn around and run. I feel like I can't tell him. Before I could run The door opens revealing Owen and Charlie. I smile slightly and I see Charlie looking surprised.

"Hey." I say quietly, looking directly past Owen at Charlie.

"I'll leave you two guys alone." Owen says allowing me to enter his trailer and walking out closing the door. Leaving me and Charlie just staring at each other.

— • —
So I hope no one was triggered by me mentioning abortion and miscarriage. I did have a warning because I didn't want that to happen. Also i felt like leaving Charlie and Sawyers conversation for the next chapter because a lot already happened in this one. So don't worry. I shouldn't leave you hanging for long. Also a side not Zoe Sugg and Alfie Deyes are having a baby girl and they were and kinda still are my favorite youtubers and I watched them since 2013 🥺🥺🥺