𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝖺 𝗐𝗂𝗌𝗁•𝗇𝖼𝗍 𝟤𝟦𝗍𝗁 𝗆𝖾𝗆𝖻𝖾𝗋

𝑏𝑒ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑒(𝑒𝑛𝑑)

Taeyong decided to talk to Hwayoung before NCT 2020 actually started. After the meeting the all piled into the van and went home. Hwayoung sat in the back, starting out the window with her headphones in. Taeyong felt his heart clench for the girl. He felt as if he had failed as a leader. For not noticing earlier. It was a smooth, twenty minute ride back to the dorms.

When they reached the building, everyone was quick to go inside. Hwayoung stayed behind a bit, walking slow on purpose. When they all entered their dorm they went off to do their separate things. Hwayoung was about to turn down the hall when she felt someone gently grab her arm. She turned and saw that Taeyong was the one holding her. She mustered up a smile and sighed.

"What's up Taeyong?" she asked.

"We need to talk,"

"Talk about what?" Hwayoung panicked on the inside. Was her depressive state to obvious? Did she do something wrong?

"Yoonie, don't panic, you didn't do anything wrong just come with me," He continued. Hwayoung knew she couldn't fight with Taeyong so she let him pull her into his room and sat her down in his bed.

She fiddled with the skin around her nails. Not making eye contact with him.

"Hwayoung. What's been going on?" Taeyong gently asked. Hwayoung shook her head. She didn't want to tell him. In fear of being judged.

"Please Hwayoung. I know there's something wrong, everyone else does too,"

She froze. She didn't know that the others saw it too.

"There's nothing wrong Taeyong I swear," she whispered.

"Yoonie, you know it's okay and normal to feel like that right?" he affirmed. Hwayoung shook her head and tried to get up, she couldn't do this. He saw right through her and she didn't like that. Taeyong grabbed her waist as she stood up and pulled her back down. She had tears pooled at the bottom of her eyes. She pushed him, trying to get out of his grasp.

"I'm fine Taeyong," she repeated. Taeyong's heart broke at the sight. Hwayoung was now full on sobbing. He didn't care that she was beating into his chest he was only focused on calming her down. Eventually the fist on his chest stopped coming down. She had given up. Hwayoung let herself be pulled into his embrace, crying into his chest.

They sat there for who knows how long. Her cries slowly died down to sniffles. Taeyong rubbed her back and whispered 'you're okay' to her over and over again.

"I'm tired yongie," Hwayoung whispered.

"I know yoonie, I know,"

"I don't know what to do,"

"We'll figure it out together. You, Me, the rest of the members. You're going to get through and survive this. It will take time of course but you got this," He replied.

Hwayoung knew that the people in her life would help her. She was grateful for that. She knew that she would be okay, eventually.

Mental health is hard to manage no matter what or who you are. An idol or regular person, it doesn't matter. It can affect anybody and everybody. It doesn't discriminate.

Getting through it takes willpower from yourself and support around you. It won't just happen overnight, it could take weeks, months, even years.

But know it's okay, and normal. Having depression, anxiety, etc doesn't make you weird, it doesn't make you an outcast, it's just a part of you that should be normalized.

-

if you're suffering with anything, i'm here if you want to talk. you don't have to go through this alone and in silence.

~tensuniverse