Cigarettes | N.B & D.D

Chapter Seventeen: Empty & Heartbroken

Nick awkwardly shuffled into her room and Dixie was completely bewildered and Noah looked completely lost. She didn't think she'd ever see him again. After their fight and his lack of loyalty, she left in hopes to never see him. But seeing him felt so familiar. It was almost like a breath of fresh air because she knew that he was aware of everything that went on in her life from the past. However, in a sense, that was no longer a good thing. She was naive before and just blatantly told him everything. He was apart of the reason why she can't trust anyone around her. She desperately wanted to trust Noah with her past but the last time she did that, it left her empty and heartbroken and she didn't think she could handle that kind of pain or pressure again.

"D-Dixie! Thank God you're okay." He said in relief, engulfing her in a hug. Dixie slowly hugged back, confused. "Nick, what are you doing here?" She asks, pulling away—refusing to make any eye contact with Noah.

"The text you sent me... I was worried. I needed to make sure that you were okay but once I got to your apartment... you were already in the ambulance so I-"

"Who are you?" Noah asked tensely. Nick raised an eyebrow, extending his hand out across Dixie's bed to shake his hand. "Nick. Dixie's ex."

Dixie winced as the words escaped his lips. She barely managed to keep eye contact with Noah because she couldn't. He looked hurt or possibly even betrayed but Dixie knew deep down that he had no reason to be upset with her for this. She had no idea that Nick would ever come to her rescue. She didn't even think he'd care enough to ever answer her but he did and she was mildly grateful for that.

Conversations with Nick used to be filled with rich, emotional significance. Now,
conversations are shallow and awkward due to the foot they left off on. A conversation to catch up with him didn't necessarily feel wrong but it didn't feel right either. Dixie didn't know how to involve Noah in their conversations as Nick explained how his family was doing, how he was doing personally, and the things he's accomplished with many different campaigns he's been working on. Dixie was completely blind to how superficial their conversation was and she didn't sense the tension radiating from Noah's being as he had his jaw clenched and arms crossed, eyeing Nick like a hawk.

Her physician had thankfully parted Dixie from the sheer tension in the room as she explained that Dixie was free to leave but she did need to have someone there with her until her next checkup in a few days. It was a safety measure and apart of their protocol.

Dixie looked down, unknowing of who could stay with her.

Noah's eyes softened as he watched her face drop upon the instructions given to her by the physician.

"I'll stay with her." Noah and Nick said in unison. Their eyes met as they glared at one another, leaving Dixie and her physician to laugh awkwardly with one another. "Oh please, you've barely been in her life recently... and you only show up now? Come on, get a grip." Noah spat. Nick chuckled, throwing his head back. "I've known her longer than you. Are you two dating or something?"

"No, we're not." Dixie cut in.

Although she was right and they weren't dating, it still didn't feel comfortable to Noah for her to say that. He was aware of how desperate he wanted to be with her but he couldn't shake the angered feeling he felt to know that he only knew things about her because he found out from anyone but her. She never told him anything. What she said is what he knew and sometimes he just wished she'd have the trust in him to open up and feel comfortable with him. Such intense feelings for someone he knows nothing about. Perhaps that was the most frustrating part. He had such an immediate and fervent attraction to her yet was kept in the dark of all her being. He couldn't grasp anything that went on in her head.

"Exactly. So, I think I can just stay with her-"

"Noah can stay with me." Dixie announces and Noah couldn't hold back the smirk on his lips. "But you can come over for a bit, Nick."

In the car, they decided to meet at her apartment separately. Nick was to drive himself to her apartment and Dixie was to go with Noah. The car ride was particularly silent for the most part before meeting a stop light where Noah cocked his head towards her. So many questions. So many assumptions. So many feelings.

"What happened to you... in the bathroom?" He cautiously asked. A tear fell from her eye, trickling perfectly down her reddened cheek. Noah gently wiped it away with the pad of his thumb before pulling over to the side of the road to get a better look at her.

She bowed her head, ashamed before Noah lifted her chin to meet his potent gaze. "I... don't know." She shrugged. "I figured that everyone would be better off if I wasn't here. I-I... thought that you wouldn't have to worry about me... neither would Addison o-or Nessa-"

"You know that you're never a burden." He assured her. "Dixie, you know the way I feel about you but you need to be honest with-"

"Can we just go? Nick is waiting." She said shortly, falling back into her seat, turning her head to the window where she leaned up against it, countless images of what happened trickling her mind. She didn't want to die but she wanted to stop feeling. At least for a moment. It's only been a week since she's stopped smoking for her medication but she was already having a terrible withdrawal. However, one more week and she could go back to how things were before. A cigarette or two a day to numb the pain. It wouldn't lead her to a point where she felt the need to turn to pills.

The drive over to her apartment was completely silent and still. Noah didn't know what to say to her. There was no possible way to assure her because she was stubborn and at times, Noah was amused by her stubborn nature but now he was growing annoyed as he just needed to get his feelings and his words through to her. He wanted to make her understand that despite the lying, the arguments, and the tears that he was going to be there for her the second she needs him to be. He's failed at that before but he wasn't going to fail her again.

Nick had leaned against the wall inside her apartment lobby as Dixie led them all upstairs. Noah and Nick shared unpleasant glares as they all shuffled awkwardly inside her apartment. Dixie offered them water and left once they had agreed that they all needed something to cool their systems.

"So," Nick pursed his lips, "how do you know Dixie?"

"She works for me." Noah answered truthfully. "You guys seem a little too close for you to just be her boss." Nick said with a chuckle.

Noah shook his head, unamused by Nick's dry banter. "I never said we weren't close. We definitely are-"

"Close? How much do you know about her?" Nick scoffed.

Noah clenched his fists because he didn't know what Nick knew. It could've been the same things as Noah, a little less, or even much more. Whatever it was, it didn't sit right with Noah. He didn't understand the interrogation. Noah wasn't aware of their breakup or how their relationship ever was but if there was one thing he was well aware of then it was the fact that he knew that Nick wasn't just here to make sure she was okay. It was evident that he was making an attempt to somehow win her back. Jealousy coursed through Noah's veins but he kept his calm composure because Dixie shouldn't have to worry about two grown men fighting over her when they were initially there for her.

Noah remained silent as Nick scoffed. "Nothing, huh?"

He cocked his head towards Nick, his gaze burning into the blonde's devilish eyes. "I know a lot of things."

Nick nodded and chewed onto his bottom lip, fidgeting with the hems of his jeans before breaking out into a small fit of laughter.

"So you know about her dead mother?" Nick  joked. 

Noah's eyes widened and body froze. "H-her what?"

Authors note:

The next few chapters are a yikes...

anyways, bye!