love on the horizon

Tell Me More About Yourself

Something was nagging Ernie about his new friendship with his roommate. Despite how well they worked together, he still knew absolutely nothing about Bert. He was a blank slate when it came to family, history, and opinions about the world. Ernie knew he wasn't the same in Bert's eyes. Bert already knew about his sister and his leftist-leaning views. He was guessing Bert wasn't a staunch Republican because if he was, he probably would have confronted Ernie on it by now. But still... who WAS this guy?

So, Ernie began to try to drag information out of Bert in a series of hinting comments every once in a while. 

"So, Bert, what do you think about gentrification?"

"How about those tax breaks for the rich, Bert? What are your thoughts?"

"Who's your favorite Congress member?" 

"What's your ideal economic system?"

Based on Bert's know-it-all nature, Ernie assumed these questions would be a jackpot of information after Bert would lecture about his opinion. But, quite uncharacteristically, Bert would just stare at Ernie quizzically for a moment and then walk away. This perplexed Ernie. How the hell was he going to get this dude to open up? 

The weekend came, and Ernie was still pondering. For the time being, he had decided to drop the subject. It was a normal Saturday afternoon, and Bert was making a smoothie from the fruit Ernie got at the farmer's market that morning. While sorting through ingredients, Bert motioned to the cabinet where the blender was and asked Ernie to plug it in. 

Ernie, quick to be helpful and no longer just stare at Bert expectantly, swiftly grabbed the blender and put it on the counter. But the way he plugged it in was absurd to Bert: he grabbed the head of the plug, carefully lined it up with the socket, shoved it in way harder than necessary, let out a small yelp, and then let go as fast as possible. Then, he went back to the counter like nothing happened. Bert just stared at him, waiting for some kind of punchline that never came. Right when Ernie noticed Bert's staring, Bert giggled. Ernie blushed, unsure of what was happening, which only made Bert giggle harder.

"What was that? Why did you plug it in like that?"

"What do you mean? That's how I plug things in. I don't want to be shocked."

"You're not going to be shocked if you don't touch the metal. The plastic part is there for a reason."

"You're wrong. I got shocked so many times as a kid and I swear I only touched the plastic part. Wall sockets are out to get me."

"Maybe you just had fat, meaty hands as a kid and you weren't aware you were touching the metal." At this, Bert giggled again, presumably at the mental image of child Ernie having fat hands and getting shocked all the time. Ernie blushed again, not used to being laughed at, but not upset at the attention. 

"I want to know more about you," Ernie blurted. At this, Bert paused.

"What?"

"I feel like I don't know anything about you. You're like a robot. I want to know." He took a deep breath, somehow nervous. "I want to know more about you."

Bert was a little shocked. It took a moment for his mind to process this. The ditzy, carefree Ernie wanted to know more about him? For what purpose? Sure, they got along, but Bert had always assumed that Ernie had no intention of being true friends. Well, Bert wasn't opposed. 

"Sure. What do you want to know?"

Now it was Ernie's turn to pause. He hadn't actually thought this far ahead, and was a taken aback by how open Bert was. Ernie had thought that Bert's mind was a secret. Apparently not.