Perennial Love

56. Deja vu

A/N

Hi all!

Here is the next update! A huge surprise at the end of it!

Happy reading!

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Pia's POV

"I... I can't do... Do this." I heard him say and all the rush of adrenaline I was feeling from a few seconds ago faded away. I jerked back, digesting his words and turned around. I cannot let him see me like this right now. I felt my vision go blurry and I blinked my eyes rapidly to push those tears back.

"Pia-" He kept his hand on my shoulder, again, creating a havoc inside me with his touch but I pushed the feeling aside and jerked his hand off my shoulder and cut him off even before he could speak anything.

"Please leave me alone for some time Swayam..." I mumbled under my breath, trying my best to make my voice come out steady. I need some space to wrap my mind around this present situation.

"Let me explain... Please..." Swayam begged, walking in front of me and I immediately turned my back to him again.

"Please... Just go." I whispered, gulping down a painful lump that formed in my throat. I heard his retreating footsteps and the main door slam shut with a loud thud. My knees gave up and I collapsed on the bed. A couple of tears escaped my eyes but I wasn't crying. No. I couldn't cry here. I was hurt. He rejected me straight on my face. I was feeling... humiliated. Am I not desirable enough? Am I not good enough for him? He was kissing me and touching me in the same way right? Then what went wrong? Did I do something I shouldn't have? Why did he all of a sudden reject me so bluntly? A pain spread in my chest just with the thought of it.

But more than anything else, I felt embarrassed. What will he think of me now? I acted so desperate. What was I thinking before going ahead with these things? I am ready, that need not mean even he was ready too... Where did I slip this important point before planning all this? Oh god! What mess did I create now? Why couldn't I wait a little? He will probably think of me as a desperate needy woman now... How will I face him? This is so embarrassing!

I robotically got up and picked up the drape of my saree which had fallen down and changed into something comfortable. I looked around the room and didn't find him anywhere. I frowned thinking where he might have gone at this hour? Shit! I shouldn't have sent him away. I went to the balcony there, hoping to spot him somewhere but didn't find him anywhere.

I sighed and walked back into the room. Maybe he will take his time. I slid into the covers and switched off the lights, keeping the night lamp on. On a side, it's good he is not here. I don't think I can bear him being so close to me yet not talking, leave alone touching or being in his safe arms. I changed sides but sleep seemed to be nowhere near me.

I heard the door click again and slow footsteps getting louder by each step. There was a little shuffling in the far and I could feel him walk upto the bed. I pretended to be asleep, not ready to face him right now. The light from the lamp darkened, making me realise he was standing in front of me now, by my side of the bed, my heart starting to beat faster again. I could smell his cologne and his presence really close to me. I tried my best to act as if I am in deep slumber. A finger brushed the hair off my forehead and felt his soft lips press onto the side of my head.

"I am sorry, love." He whispered and caressed my cheek and the very next moment, I lost his warmth and the bed dipped on the other side. After hearing him apologize, all the questions rushed back into my mind. Did he regret what we did or he is sorry for rejecting me? Why? Why did he reject me? I tossed several times but I couldn't sleep, with all the thoughts and mixed emotions battling in my mind. Somewhere near to the dawn, I felt my eyelids growing heavy and I slipped into a dreamless sleep.