Heart Strings

040

Slowly I back away still trying to wrap the entire situation around my head and just in time the said culprit walks into the sene looking composed as ever... sad even.

She put up the whole act of playing the victim, the fake teary look that forms up in her eyes has me convinced that she's a professional actress.

She uses her index finger to brush off an almost visible tear from her eyes then she focuses her attention on her husband, more fake tears leaking "I told you this was a bad idea!" At first she touches his arm as if trying to comfort herself but then her facial features transforms into one of painful anger "I can take in a lot of shit but this? This is just way out of the line! We need to leave now!"

"Baby..." Andrew tries to reason with her.

"I'm not going to spend another second here and let your daughter insult me in my presence. I'll be home waiting when you get back." She turns around and walks away, heading towards the entrance door.

Andrew passes me one last glance of disappointment before following behind her and not until they were out and off the grounds of our home did the only other mother figure I've known my entire life turn around and look me in the eyes one last time.

And what I saw in the dark brown of her eyes was something that pierced right straight into my heart.

Without saying a word she brushes past me and out of the living room leaving me to drown in my thoughts.

I dig my hands into my hair and crash all my weight on the ground, it feels like my legs have completely given up on me and so is the fighter inside of me because finally, I let the tears flow along with the ugly sobs that follow.

So very lightly I hear Kyle's voice call my name from beside me but I refuse to look up and acknowledge his presence, simply concentrating on letting out all the sore emotions inside me.

He calls my name with the same tenderness a few more times again before lightly touching my arm to gain my attention. And for the first time for as long as I can remember I pull away from his touch. The same touch that always brought me comfort whenever I was in a wrong place, only this time it burns like acid.

"Don't!" I don't look at him, but I don't think the look on his face is anything but pleasant right now.

"Lexa...."

"What? Are you here to feed me more lies?"

"I'm sorry." The weight on his words sounds genuine.

"It doesn't matter." Nothing matters anymore.

"Look at me Lexa."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because!" My voice lifts a little higher than it's normal octave and so does the angle of my head as my eyes finally meet his "whenever I do all I see is a liar!"

Kyle knows me more than anyone else in the world. And he knows just as much that if there's one thing I completely despise in my life are lies. So when I watch his face contour into something so sore and painful I know he's realized that for the first time in all I can remember, we're actually having this conversation, where one of us is at the bitter end of an angry banter.

"Is this what we're doing now?" I cry "lying to each other? Keeping things from each other?"

He sees it in my eyes that we aren't playing or laughing or just being happy together but the entire opposite because right now, my anger and frustration is directed at him.

"I am so sorry Lexa, I swear I was only trying to help and I actually thought you'd be able to mend your relationship with...."

"It's not just about that!" I rise up to my feet feeling disappointed, pained and hurt deeply, not angry. "Tell me! Tell me right to my face Kyle! Lie to me and just tell me that you were really wasted that night at the club!"

He stays quiet, his face completely pales at my words as I stand there, right in his face, breathing heavily and waiting for his response.

"Tell me" my voice breaks "that you didn't know what you were doing when you kissed me."

His breathing increases and he just stares at me as if he's seen a ghost. His lips opening and closing back but not a word leaves his mouth.

I shut my eyes tightly and open them back letting out a scoff. "And you can't even say anything."

"I don't know what to say!" He suddenly yells refusing to look at me as his chest rises and falls rapidly.

"You can tell the truth Kyle! That's all I'm asking for, the simple truth! Okay? Why can't you just talk to me?!"

"I don't know!" he turns around looking me in the eyes as his chest rises and falls rapidly "maybe it's because you're too naive to see that I'm fucking in love with you!"

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Much love;
Jessie ❤️