Stringless Guitar (Musicians Series 1)

Chapter 17: A Gig to the Moon

AVRIL

IF I WERE to tell you the biggest lesson I've learned in my whole existence, it's the fact that truths do not only manifest on the things we see all the time.

Metaphorically, the earth is beautiful in its green and ocean blue color. But all of those beautiful photos of our planet only show one side of it. Dahil sa isang direksyon lamang nagmumula ang sinag ng araw, kalahating bahagi lang din ng mundo ang maliwanag.

And the other half? It's dark and gloomy. And we haven't even seen pictures of it most of the time. Kadalasan sa mga science books at encyclopedia ay ang makulay na mundo lamang ang ipinapakita. Not the dark one.

And as the observer, we become amazed of the earth not knowing that it has its dark side.

Jessel was a cheerful person. Sabihin na nating hindi perpekto ang buhay niya pero hindi ko lubos akalain na magagawa niya 'yon. Kahit makailang-beses ko pang i-replay ang history, wala talaga akong mahanap na sapat na dahilan sa ginawa niya.

Maybe she's too good in hiding things? Ewan ko ba. Sa tuwing naalala ko 'yon, bumabalik ang lahat ng sakit. Hindi birong mawalan ng kaibigan. Pilit ko nang nililimot ang masakit na parte na 'yon ng kapahon.

And I just couldn't believe that my other bandmates just made me remember the pain.

"That's all I can say," I ended my story. I wiped some tears in my eyes before giving Ben a bored look. Hindi ko na nga namalayang sa ka-kwento ko ay naiiyak na rin pala ako.

"Teka, nakikinig ka ba?" I told him.

"H-ha?"

Sabi ko na nga ba. Kanina pa ako nagdududa kung nakikinig ba siya sa kuwento ko o hindi. Eh kanina pa siya nakatulala d'yan habang nakatingin sa unahan niya eh.

"Hindi ka nakinig 'no?" I glared at him. "Sus, ikaw pa 'tong nagsabi na makikinig ka tapos hindi naman pala."

"Wait, what?" Humarap siya sa'kin. "Tsk. I was listening to everything you told me, fyi."

Inirapan ko lang siya. Bahala na siya kung nakinig siya sa kuwento ko o hindi.

"Why did she do it?" he asked.

"Hindi ko rin alam," I honestly confessed. "It was probably due to a depression I failed to notice in her. Maybe it was the pressure she often gets from her strict parents. Masyado rin kasing strict ang mga magulang niya."

There's probably one 'big' thing that made her do it. Who knows? Ayaw ko na ring isipin kasi makakadagdag lang 'yon sa sakit. It was like a novel that never had a proper ending. It just closed on its own.

"That was why you were so eager to perform at the Amateurs Band Night right? The same night when you took me in temporarily," aniya. Nangunot naman ang noo ko roon.

"Eager?"

"I was watching you Avril. It felt like you poured your everything while singing that night," he responded. He looked at me and gave me a shy smile. "You did that to honor your late friend, didn't you?"

Hindi agad ako nakasagot roon. Umaanghang na naman ang mga mata ko. "Yeah. It was her d-dream to perform there." Hindi ko na naman napigilan ang mga luha ko.

We were in our first year when we witnessed the gig and decided to perform on the next event. The next year, when we were almost close to our dream, she committed suicide and that didn't only ruin our hearts but also our plans.

Hindi na rin kami natuloy sa pagsali no'n. Kaya labis ang saya ko nang makapag-perform na kami ngayong third-year na kami. It felt like finally, I was able to do it for Jessel.