Chapter 9

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It’s not easy to cope up with all the mess that’s inside your head on your own. I just don’t like it that I have to deal with it on my own, but there isn’t anything I could do. Especially since I am not ready to welcome new people into my life anymore. I feel like I did this to myself.

After a while, I thought to myself what I would have for dinner and decided I would eat outside since I am lazy to cook anything. Eating alone was the last thing I wanted to do. So I just got an idea to maybe call Luna and ask if she could eat with me.

I get it, it wasn’t planned. She would most probably kindly decline, because she would be busy and not to mention she as might be bust with her own stuff. I mean everyone has their own life.

I called her and I have to admit, I was nervous. What would she think if I called her like this out of the blue? It was going on ringing forever and at that point, I was about to give up.

It was right at that moment, I heard a “hello?” from the phone. I was about to accidentally drop my phone and screamed. I was thinking to myself, “She is going to assume that I’m being kidnapped or something”

Luna: “Hello, Lucy is everything okay? Are you hurt somewhere?”

To me, she sounded concerned and worried. I mean, had I not screamed, she wouldn’t have to worry.

Lucy: “Yeah Luna. I’m fine and so is everything else. I just dropped my phone which is why I screamed. Sorry about that.”

Luna: “Oh no, it’s totally alright. Is everything okay? Not that I mind you calling me. It’s just so sudden and I wanted to check if everything was fine.”

Lucy: “I’m so sorry to call at this hour. But I was hoping if you were free to eat dinner….with me. Ah, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Luna: “Oh, sure. I really don’t mind. In fact, I’m glad that you asked. I’ll just get my parents’ permission. Hold up one minute.”

Lucy: “Yeah, sure, of course. Thank you so much and I am sorry if I am making it difficult for you.”

Luna: “Oh hush now sister. I really am happy that you and I will have dinner. It’s better than having it alone.”

Fortunately, she got her parents’ permission and she was allowed to come. I invited her over at my place and thought that I would order something. I couldn’t be more grateful towards her. Even if it was for a while, at least I wouldn’t feel lonely or be isolated with just my thoughts alone.

After she came over, she and I decided that we would order pizza, because why not? I think I can say that we both love eating pizza a lot. Even back then when we would eat together, it would be pizza.

Luna: “I hope you’re doing well Lucy. At least better than before, and thank you for the pizza even though I let you pay this time, just this once.”

We both were literally fighting like cats. She was insisting on paying for it but I wouldn’t dare let her to. She was my guest, after all and I would feel super guilty if she would be the one paying for the meal.

Lucy: “You know me, we were like this back then too. Also you can treat me later if that will make you feel better, okay? In honour of your engagement, fine?”

Luna: “Fair enough. I do have to treat you for that. Which reminds me of something, do you keep in contact with Emma?”

Lucy: “Ahh…Emma I do keep in contact with her. In fact, I messaged her today.”

After I thought of her, I thought why not say a simple “hello” to her. It had been a while. She was actually studying medicine to become a doctor. So it does become a little difficult to talk to her.

Luna: “Oh, I see. I don’t mean to intrude in your life like that Lucy. It’s just that I am concerned about you.”

Lucy: “What about, Luna? I’m perfectly fine you see. Nothing to worry about.”

Luna: “What happened between you and the group of friends you had? Remember the one you told me about? How come you don’t talk about them anymore?”

Lucy: “I- Well- you see-“

At that point, my heart was racing and I could feel all those memories rushing into my mind. Because I hadn’t healed from them. I just couldn’t bare the pain and I could feel tears coming out my eyes.

Luna: “Oh my god Lucy. I’m so so sorry I shouldn’t have brought that up.”

She hugged me and kept saying she was sorry but honestly speaking, she shouldn’t have been saying it. Because deep down, I really wanted to let out what I felt at that moment but that wasn’t the time to.

Lucy: “You don’t have to- apologise Luna- please you don’t have to-“

Luna: “I have should have been more considerate about it. But from the looks of it, I was right to worry about you.”

I drank a little bit of water afterwards, and it reminded me of the times that I would cry and Emma would give me water as well. She would sit with me and listen to me.

Lucy: “I would love to tell you all about it one day. And I’m sure you will be the first one to know about it. Also please don’t blame yourself. I think I might have overreacted-”

Luna: “Oh hush, now hun. You haven’t healed from whatever they did to you which is understandable. But I will be more careful about this in the future. You can tell me when you’re ready and I will listen to you. For now on, you try to calm down and we can talk about something else, okay?”

Lucy: “Thank you…..Luna. Really, thank you.”

Luna: “You don’t have to thank me silly. It’s what friends do.”

Lucy: “What I can tell you so far is that, I have left them for good. That relationship wasn’t a healthy one between us and I just couldn’t deal with them."

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