-He is very responsible, and feels responsible for a great many things even when they are entirely out of his control and jurisdiction. The miserable bastard likes to torture himself like that. He's the type to lead by example, so any task or order he is given is followed and completed, one way or another, in hopes those under his command will do the same.
-Most days he walks the line between being obedient and conscientious, although he is without a doubt acquiescent when it comes to his High Lord. And this tears him apart, because Vinter loves his court, and a High Lord is his court, but how is it possible to love something when it goes against his most intrinsic values? How can Vinter live with himself when the person he's dedicated his life to is so cruel? And how can he live with himself for thinking something so treasonous?
-How can you call yourself loyal when you are not even loyal to yourself?
°Kind°
-Being high general is quite possibly the worst position Vinter could have sought out to ease the ever-present feeling of inadequacy in soul. Because it demands from you, it demands violence, demands sacrifice (so much sacrifice, your soldiers, your morals, your conscience). And Vinter... he doesn't like hurting others, in his heart he is not a violent man, but rather, empathetic to the point of his own detriment. He enjoys the softer things in life for all that he rarely allows himself any indulgences. His happiest moments are always a result of helping others. Can't help but care, his heart an open weeping wound.
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-Vinter learns from a very young age, that not only as a bastard but a child of mixed blood, he is entirely unwanted by his sire, and scrutinized at every moment for his blood. He is born to a Duke, not as an heir or even the spare. Vinter is the Duke's fifth child and only alive because he is all but forgotten, and while this allows him freedom his half-siblings do not have, he is miserable in his solitude, driving him to seek out any comfort he can.
-Vinter spends his days running through the village at the edges of the Duke's land, raised more by the commoners and their kindness than his own family. He fondly remembers early mornings at the docks, helping the fishermen with their catch, and late nights at the tavern playing the part of a serving boy and having his hand swatted away more than once whenever he'd try to sneak a taste of the ale. Remembers the first time he'd convinced the hunters to let him tag along, only to cry like a baby when he actually saw them kill a bear, and keep on crying until they let him bring the cub they'd orphaned home -he names her Daisy, and the townsfolk laugh silly when he knits her scarf, afraid she'd catch a cold.
-As he becomes more a man than a boy, Vinter's magic begins to bloom, and with it comes new ways for him to serve his court other than simple tasks around the village. He joins the village watchmen, and when he quickly outgrows that, he joins the army. It's a good life for him, where he can work himself to bone-deep exhaustion in service of his home to finally make up for the sin of his birth. But with his ever-growing magic and skill with the sword, his idyllic life will not last long. Because Vinter is never enough, he is always searching for new ways to prove himself, to give himself to his court. And one day, an opportunity presents itself, better than any before.
-The news spread like wildfire, the High Lord's son is finally out of his nursery days, and letters have been sent out in search of a companion and guard, calling for anyone who thinks themselves worthy to come try their hand at the trials that will be held.
-Vinter is no fool and knows that when people say "anyone", they mean nobles, not bastards like himself. Knows that his siblings will undoubtedly be there, competing to make their father proud. But oh this is it. This is his chance to show the court his loyalty, even if it means forsaking any he had for his family.
-So he goes and he tears through the competition, kin included. At the end, Vinter stands, proudly declared the champion, and at the back of the crowd, his family stands. For a moment, he allows himself to hope they're proud, that he'll go back to the estate to gather his things before moving to the palace, and that they'll be waiting there to congratulate him.
-There's only some truth in those hopes. They're certainly waiting for him when he returns, no kind intention in mind though. And really, Vinter always knew this was coming one day, so when the sword comes swinging down, it's all too easy to dodge. And well, there's only one way this was all going to end. In blood.
-At least he doesn't have to pack his things, since with him as the last of his family, he's the Duke now.
-And as for his transition to High General? The less said about that the better.
❄︎O͟͟͟͞͞͞T͟͟͟͞͞͞H͟͟͟͞͞͞E͟͟͟͞͞͞R͟͟͟͞͞͞❄︎
-I feel so bad for him because Vinter was so sure that becoming High General would finally make him feel worthy but it actually just destroyed any self-confidence because he should be undyingly loyal to his high lord but on the other hand, he feels he is betraying the people who brought him up in not doing anything to curb him high lord's behavior. Also the kinslaying. yikes.
-Overall, Vinter's character is always very dependent on his High Lord. Which is why it took so long for me to get his form ready, I have to rewrite his personality and backstory every time. But ahbfhbhe it's so messy rn I hate it. will probably be back to edit the hell out of it.
-Vinter has a very distorted view of his high lord, because he's dedicated his life to his court and proving he is worthy of it, and a High Lord is his court. So Vinter spent years romanticizing the previous High Lord, and then he disappeared and the boy prince took his place and suddenly there's this child who Vinter cannot in good conscious place all his expectations on, but these beliefs have been such a fundamental to him for such a long time that, so he's left in a sort of limbo.
-Also anyone spot the tumblr reference?
❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎
"Don't you dare, for one minute, believe that my kindness makes me anything but insurmountable. I did not unzip my chest to every kind of hurt, and stagger back, wounded and alive, just to hear you call me weak for trying."
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