Stolen Voices ✓

March 20th

He is no artist, the lines are crossing in a mess of red and black crayon. It is chaotic to look at, total disturbance. Yet far in the corner, there is a yellow circle. A single ray of light radiating into the barren space between the mayhem.

"It looks like you are very lost. Your heart is very dark and hurting." Elias can only nod because she is right. "But that yellow in the corner, you have hope, Elias."

She smiles now, her eyes turning upwards. She leans forward in her chair, her eyes on him even after he looks away. Her hands are crossed in her lap, and her clipboard is set to the side. They are just talking now, she isn't writing any of it.

Elias looks at his artwork, holding it so hard in his hand that it rips in the corner. He's drawn without thinking, without really looking at the picture he made. He never felt like he had any hope in his life. But here, on this white canvas, he drew it.

Dr. Alice isn't patronizing him, she doesn't reflect any pity. She is simply there to help, to make that tiny circle of yellow take up his entire page, to fill him with peace. She will show him that not all darkness is bad, as long as it is managed.

"The only way to get over your past is to accept it. To realize that you had no control over what happened to you then, but you have it now. I want you to write it all down, all of it in a notebook or on paper, whatever feels right for you."

Elias's eyes crinkle, his dark eyebrows furrowing. He pushes back the brown hair that falls over his forehead, nibbling at his lip. His brown eyes continue to dart past her room, landing back on her. Softly in the background, a clock clicks away.

"You can write whatever you want, even if it's just what you had for breakfast. And it's your choice if you want to share it with me or not. But you won't be able to go on without letting some of it go, because that is what this black is."

She points towards the black crayon, and Elias fixates on it. Black, like her hair, like the darkness that demolishes him. The red, like the streaks in her hair, the rage hidden behind his eyes.

He keeps those words in mind as he climbs up to his treehouse later that evening. He brings his new notebook along and a pencil with a half-broken led. He sits, the candle flicking in the corner, his left hand hovering over the page.

And he writes, he writes until his hand cramps, and his eyes are bleak with sleep. His eyelids are heavy as he fumbles down the ladder and back into his bedroom, safely hiding his notebook under his bed. Climbing under the protection of his blanket, he lets it engulf him.

He didn't sleep any better than before, but he did. Sleep, that is.

- Elias's Notebook - 

I used to go over to their house when I was little. It was fun, I loved it as a little boy because there were no rules. Luella, she was my best friend out of all of my cousins because I saw her the most. I think that's why I liked it so much.

I remember that she would always touch me, even when I was little. I simply hand run through my hair, or touch my shoulder. It was okay, I loved her, I thought it was normal. It wasn't bad really, I never felt uncomfortable.

I didn't really realize she was sick, because it was fun. 

Luella and I, we used to play hide and seek. All around the house, they had a lot of spots I could fit when I was little. I remember one day I found her pearls.

They weren't real, but she was so mad when I touched them and they broke. And I felt bad, because I'd done something wrong, I thought she didn't love me. She screamed in my face, and she broke down crying. Full on hysterical, like she forgot I was even in the room. She was gripping onto her hair, black hair with red streaks.

That was the first time, I think, seeing her so messed up. Of course, I didn't understand it then so I just left. I went home to my mom and didn't talk about it.

The next day she was fine. She didn't talk about it, and just smiled when she saw me. When she hugged me, I smiled back because I figured she loved me again. And so again, Luella and I played hide and go seek and, of course, I won.

I used to go to their house when I was little. It was fun, I loved it, but I didn't realize then that it would only haunt me. Their family was my favorite out of all my moms siblings, and that's why I can never tell anyone what happened to me that night.

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Authors Note:

Okay, so I know they have the same therapist but that's just out of my own laziness to not create a new character and remember there name... so yeah.

Thoughts?

Next chapter is fun!!!

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- ❤ Nia

Edited 3/30/22