peace | taekook

chapter twenty-four

the brunette fiddled with the hem of his shirt, unsure how to bridge the mumbled thoughts coursing through him. even he hadn't quite decoded what way his mind was moving, "it just doesn't feel right. it feels superficial and like i'm turning my back on my family and the business."

"what do you mean?"

"joon works so hard and he's dedicated his whole life to studying insurance and business and he goes to shareholder meetings and seminars around the world and-,"

"and you're not joon and you never will be." jungkook tried to use touch to comfort him, stroking little circles onto tae's back, "you know he doesn't expect that of you, right?"

"maybe he doesn't but my dad surely does and he pushes him to push me and maybe it would just be easier to give in."

"what are you scared of?" where tae saw hints of indecision, jungkook just saw fear of crushed dreams and realization. it was nothing more than cold feet, the reality too close for comfort.

tae felt his leg bouncing, anxious, his heart beating causing his ears to turn red. he wanted to just lay down and cry, hide in a hole, anything to not think about his reasons.

"i guess.... i guess i just don't want to leave my family." his voice trailed off as he finished the statement.

jungkook felt the air in the room turn, the revelation that tae wasn't scared of failing, he was scared of losing somebody else. not being around to cherish moments and time together. he was preparing for grief that may come.

"oh... baby, come here." the younger opened his arms wide, tucking the brunette into his chest and allowing him to sob into his plain white shirt for as long as he needed.

it was hard to know loss when you hadn't experienced it yourself but jungkook could feel it through tae. the pain and the heartbreak and the fear that if he were to fly off to milan or paris he'd come home to an empty apartment and no one to call.

change was never easy, leaving and coming back to something that could be different. when they'd been upstate for jungkook's birthday tae had left with a grandmother who walked and talked and came home to one that was minutes from passing.

it was evident it resurfaced some trauma and jungkook hoped that maybe one day would tell him about it.

"i'm sorry..." he shuffled, wiping at the wet spot now covering jungkook's chest.

"hey, don't worry about it, okay?" he brushed the half dried tears drop from underneath his boyfriends eyes, careful to admire his features in the process. the little freckles on his tan skin, the perfectly elongated eyelashes that tickled the tops of his cheeks, now sewn together in little, wet triangles, "just because you've had loss, doesn't mean you throw everything away because of it. joon and your dad would be so pissed if they got to their death bed only to find out you didn't follow your dream because you were worried you wouldn't have enough time with them."

"you think?"

"i know. i know for a fact!" his doe eyes danced as he remembered the show from the other night, "your brother looked so proud. he stared at you like he'd saw god himself in an embroidered suit. and he took like a million illegal photos, most of which had the corner of his thumb in it- why is your brother such a boomer?"

taehyung chuckled at that, "he came out the womb a forty five year old man; i think he ages in dog years."

"he doesn't get it but he can see that it's for you and i promise, he'd be mad if you didn't call that agent and at least see what he's offering."

tae felt the card between his fingers, wrinkled from constantly swishing in his pocket, "i'll think about it, okay?"

jungkook nodded, "that's all i'm asking for! now, let's finish teaching you laundry. this shirt isn't going to wash itself!"