Losing Love

53

Dominic lifts away from me slightly, only for a moment to push my father's hand off my shoulder. He gives him a dirty look but continues to step away from me. His movement pushed me out of the torturous loop as I raise my head towards Dominic's face above me, stopping once my eyes meet his. 

The tears begin again, they begin as we meet each other's pain. All I see in Dominic's eyes is pure love, compassion, and pain. Pure pain. I didn't see any anger towards me in any sort, considering it was MY body that failed to protect our baby. I didn't see disgust, pity, or violence of any sort. 

"Our baby", I attempt to whisper, though it came out as more of a croak. He places his hand to my cheek, wiping the tears under my eyes with the pad of his thumb, "we'll get through this", he whispers back, tears slowly moving down his face. I the slightest sliver of energy to raise my hand to his face, wiping his tears the same way he did mine. I attempt to bring him the same kind of comfort he brought me. 

In this moment, as I look into the eyes of the love of my life, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, the man I want to be with when I'm greying and old, and the man I still want to lie with even after my heart stops beating. I didn't know what would happen next, all I knew is that I was completely and inevitably in love with the man with the green eyes, the man who was my brother's best friend, the man who saved my life. 

All I knew is that we would get through this together. After all, we can do anything together.

I break away from the force pulling us together, and turn my head towards my mother and father who watch me carefully, my mom has tears balling down her face - though she tries to hide it, while my father's eyes are cloudy and glazed over. "Could we please have a moment alone?" I ask them, my voice still croaky as Dominic stands up, his arm still holding onto mine. He turns around and grabs a glass of water.

My father seems hesitant to leave, though my mother answers for them both. She nods her head and grabs my father's forearm, pulling him out the door behind her.  I lift myself up, but instantly regret it, falling back down due to the striking pain that shoots up my leg. I try again and ignore the pain, my feet hit the cold tiled ground, Dominic stands behind me with his arm placed on the small of my back for support, "you should sit back down" he suggests, I ignore it as I try my best to travel to Dominic's bag.

"What are you doing?" He questions me with his eyebrows furrowed together, I answer his question by pulling out a gun. "Hope, put it down"  he says slowly, his eyebrows lifting up as an attempt to make it clearer for me. I shake my head, "I'm going to kill him". His eyes widen, arms extended in protest and mouth open. I ignore whatever comment he attempts to push out as I limp towards the door. I feel Dominic's footsteps catching up to me and attempt to speed up, this proves pointless as he stands in front of me. Guarding the door.

"Matteo doesn't deserve death" he simply states. I glare at him with my head tilted to the right, obviously in confusion. Matteo killed our baby and almost killed me, and he doesn't deserve death?

I attempt to shove him to the side, though he stays completely still and straight. He makes a move to grab the gun from my hand but I refuse to let go, "THAT MONSTER KILLED OUR BABY" I begin to scream on frustration as I push my palms against his chest.

Kyle, Carter, and Cole run through the door, Kyle and Cole hold onto my arms, stopping me from hitting Dominic. I try my best to push them away but suddenly feel weak, I look down to Carter's frozen hand, which holds an empty syringe. My body gains a hundred pounds as Dominic gently guides me back into the bed. I glance towards the door and watch as my mom and dad rush in. My mom runs towards me.

My head hits the pillow and I look directly above me, at my mother who's eyes are still balling with tears and cheeks now red. She sobs while whispering, "I'm so sorry my little girl, I'm so sorry". Her hands curl around my cheek as she wipes my tears away.

My vision blurs as her facial features are no longer distinct to my eyes, "please mommy, I just want my baby" I beg in a low cry as the drug weakens my body completely and I'm brought back to the torturous silence that I have gotten so used to.

Dominic's POV:

"Yes, there were signs of sexual abuse all around her body."

The doctors words play on repeat in my mind as I stare at Hope's sleeping body, the only signs to suggest her crying is the red and puffy skin under her eyes. 

"Are you her husband?.. oh, I'm sorry but she was pregnant... Yes, was, the baby died"

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT", her mother storms into the room, I instantly stand up as she continues her heavy marches towards me. Her hand lifts up as she points a long finger at my chest, my head tilts at her words. "What?" I whisper, "you couldn't protect her... YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULD PROTECT HER", she screams. Her face drips down with tears once again. The pressure behind my eyes builds up again and I tuck my lips in my mouth as an attempt to stop my tears from re-appearing.

After seconds of silence, the only sounds are coming from her mother's sobs, she begins again. "Why would you bring her into this world?" She questions me honestly, her head facing the ground but her wet eyes glued to mine.

I open my mouth, "I didn't mean to" I reply, my voice held low with guilt and regret. "We were trying to keep her safe" she growls while glaring at me.

She turns her head towards her husband who just entered in through the door, "I told you, she was better off and happier not knowing" she glares at him too, he just nods his head in regret and agreement.

Her mother turns back to me, she shoves me back towards the door slightly, "now leave" she instructs me. "Please just let me help her, I can help her. It was my baby too" I beg, she instantly comes back, "you've done enough". She turns away and shoves me out of Hope's room while slamming the door in my face.

Not knowing what to do, I turn on a dime and march out of the hospital. I climb into my car and slam the car door shut as hard as I can. I turn the car on and drive home, not paying mind to the safety rules as I speed down the streets.

I finally arrive home, opening the front door to my house. All the lights are switched off, I don't bother turning them back on as I make my way up the stairs and into our room.

Upon entering the door, I bang my leg against the table by the side of the bed. Loosing whatever control I had left, I swipe my hand across the top of the table. All it's contents fall down to the floor, shattering as they land. I turn around and grab the lamp off the dresser, throwing it across the room till it smashes against the wall and fall to the ground with a loud bang. Stomping towards the dresser, I pull the drawers out and throw them against the floor, it breaks into pieces as it separates on the floor. Bending over and holding my head in my hand, heavy tears pour out from my eyes. I sob quietly as I glance around the room.

The moonlight reflects off something on the floor which catches my attention, I stand to my feet and wipe my tears off my cheek using the back of my hand. I walk towards it and pick it up, analysing the cracked framed picture of Hope and I from Elijah's ball.

Her mom was right.

Admitting this to myself, I place the picture back on the bed gently and head down the kitchen. I open a cabinet and grab the bottle of bourbon from the top shelf. I reach my arm out to grab a glass but pause, retracting my arm back to myself, I decide against it and pop the bottle open. I place my lips on the top of the bottle and tilt my head back, the brown liquor burns as it sweeps past my throat.