Chapter Ten

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Elena's POV

"Dammit!" Damon curses under his breath. I know he's upset because we let Katherine get away. As soon as I fell over from pain, and everyone rushed over to me, Katherine was gone. A bloody genius I must say. No pun intended.

I sigh, rubbing my aching forehead, and trying to free my stiff back. I feel weak and light headed. It's practically an indescribable feeling. My bones are made of fluff and I can't feel my toes.

All of a sudden an inescapable sadness washes over me and I feel like I'm going to crumble under the emotion. "Why does this kind of thing keep happening to me?" I ask, my voice breaking.

I look around at everyone and their expressions. They all seem to be deep in thought, contemplating what I had just asked-- now I wish I hadn't.

Damon is sitting next to me on the couch. Bonnie and Caroline are sitting on the cushioned chairs beside the couch. Stefan stands with his arms crossed. We're all still in the Salvatore house living room, in front of the fire place.

"I-I feel like I'm ruining all of your lives." I say so unbearably quiet, I almost wish I hadn't.

Damon grabs my hand and I look up at him. He stares at me hard. Theres the permanent crease between his eyebrows from stress. The soft eyes that hold too many secrets. The dark hair to match his brows. Dangerous. "Don't think like that, Elena. We'll get through this." He says. I bite my lip, fighting back tears and nod trying my best to smile but my efforts fail dramatically. "Come here." Damon wastes no time in pulling me into a tight hug immediately. "It's impossible for you to have even come a mere inch close to ruining my life. Because you saved my life Elena." He whispers deeply in my ear, I feel like I could get lost in the sound of his voice.

Someone clears their throat and I look up. "Sorry to break up the moment, but the rest of us are still here." Caroline says uncomfortably.

"Oh, right.." I say, heat flushing through my cheeks. I look at Damon and he's fighting back a laugh. "What?" I ask, and he bursts into chuckles. I don't know why he's laughing, but I join along and chuckle with him.

"You're face.. It was all like" Damon impersonates my embarrassed face and I start laughing. He jokes around with me for a little bit longer.

And then suddenly his lips are on mine, and the world around me is frozen but zooming in circles at the same time. My head is spinning and this inevitable fire ignites inside me.

"I think we should go.." I hear Caroline whisper, but I'm too distracted to notice. I hear the front door open and shut and assume the rest has left.

"You, you.." I whisper in between breaths. "I..I remember." I say. Suddenly black and white memories flash through my mind. I see Damon snapping Jeremy's neck, I see him feeding on people..enjoying it. All these sick and disturbing images flash through my head and I'm sure it's almost straight from a horror movie.

I pull away from Damon, my eyes wide open in shock. "I remember!" I hiss at him angrily. He seems disoriented but I don't care. Tears start to well into my eyes. "You sick son of a bitch!" I yell.

He puts his hands up. "Elena what's going on-"

"I remember you killing Jeremy. I remember you being a psychopath!" I cry. "How could you do those things? I know, you know that that's not who you are. Why would you let yourself be a monster?"

Damon is silent and turns away from me. "Because i didn't know any other way." He says quietly, like he's afraid to open up. "I don't know if you remember this or not.. but you forgave me. I barely remember that person I used to be. Like a silent shadow, that person is always there behind me, but I don't let it control me, I control it." He says and I process.

"I-I don't think, even when my memory was good, that I ever asked how you wound up like that."

Damon looks at me with an unreadable stare, and I'm locked in his gaze. "Elena that isn't something worth knowing."

"Damon if you could just tell me-"

"A lot of things contributed to why I became what I was! If you're looking for a simple answer you'd be granted to find there is none! I wouldn't even be able to fit all the reasons for why into a book. A series, maybe." He shakes his head, and runs his fingers through his hair, messing it up a little. Something dark suddenly washes over his expression and he gives me an empty stare. "You know what? I am a monster. I'm a bad guy, I do bad things. And that's what had you attracted to me in the first place. Even if you could never admit it to yourself." He says. "Then what I thought was a meaningless mutual bond, turned into much more. Friendship. Then moments like these where I wasn't quite sure where I stood in the world but I knew I was standing next to you, so everything would be fine." He says breathlessly. His face is inching closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath fanning over me, drawing me in like a moth to light.

"Just kiss me." I say pulling him in for a surprise smooch. He grabs my face and kisses me back. We both stand up and he presses me up against the wall. I run my hands all over him, kissing his lips like mad, like I've been starved for too long. He asks permission with his eyes to nibble on my neck, and I turn to the side granting him access.

All of a sudden we're moving quickly around the living room, flipping tables over, breaking chairs. Slamming each other up against walls and kissing and kissing and kissing. Before I even realize it, I'm on his bed and he's kissing ever inch of me and I'm savoring every second of it.

~

Hey guys, gonna definitely start posting a lot more!! This was sort of a filler chapter but I've got things planned muhahaha >:)

Anyways don't forget to vote and maybe leave a nice comment about what you think about the story or any suggestions you have.

By love you

~Em

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