Illecebra- A Short Story

The Ending

There was nothing but two things left in that screaming yet silent room. One of those two things was that wooden ball with a size of a fist, rough edges and uneven surface. The one that was dirty green in color and had some gibberish embarked on it, the one that rolled up to me one fine day. But this time nobody stopped me before my fingertips could gash against that jagged thing. Somewhere in my mind I could see that teenage boy with ethereal features standing in front of me.

Second object in the room was that extraordinary painting that caught my eye for the very first time too. It still showed a fully grown up woman in a romantic set up with a frail, young boy. The woman still had her little one in her arms while I lost mine. I was frustrated because I wanted my little one by my side but he wasn't and there was nothing I could do about it.

I was jealous, furious, desperate, anxious and broken. I was trying to hold onto just anything but nothing was in my reach. Nothing was in my reach because I made it sure that I distance myself with nearly everything and everyone. I hated this emptiness, I just wanted him, nothing more, nothing less. But it was too much to ask for an abhorrent person like me.

I dug all means to reach him, to find him but most importantly to protect him because I knew he didn't move willingly. I knew he was pushed forcefully, probably by his parents who didn't approve of our relationship.

All numbers were contacted, all doors were knocked and all persons, of whom Vaibhav made the slightest reference of, were enquired. No stone was left unturned but all in vain for I couldn't reach him in any way. I wanted to talk to him for one last time, hold him tight in my arms for one last time, maybe cry in his arms one last time, shower him with kisses one last time and award him with one last cuddly sessions. It wasn't the separation that strangled me but it were the unsaid goodbyes that suffocated me.

There was so much to say, so much to do, so many losses to win and so many wins to lose but who knew that I would end up losing him. I was craving for our pictures that I deleted in annoyance previously. Now that empty folder in my gallery named 'Love❤️' mocked at my emptiness. At least that empty folder had love in it's name while I had lost mine due to my stupidity.

Days passed with weeks and weeks passed with months in a scary silence. I was silent because I was scared but what scared me more was losing him into a permanent silence.

There was no sign of him until I received an anonymous letter one day.

Dear Geet,
         To start with, I need you to know that if you are reading this letter then know that I'm in a very happy place. I am writing this letter to tell you neither did I forget nor forgive you. Boom! Got ya? Didn't I? Come on the entire world knows I can't stay mad at you for long. But here's a thing I want you to know, I completed that song. I completed our song bitch, you must have received a pen drive with this letter. Why now? Because I found just a perfect ending for it but it was too early I guess.

I know you must be curious and furious, blaming yourself for everything but please don't. If there's anyone who should apologise then it should be me for I knew our story would never end perfectly like I made it sound in the song. I know, I know I'm a great musician but how I wish I could be equally great a lover.

On the day we first slept together, I had a severe headache and I was informed later that day that I have a big bong horrible tumour growing inside my brain. So whenever I told you my head is fucked up I literally meant it lol. I never intended to keep this away from you but something convinced me to do it until the end. I wanted to spend all my time with you happily.

Yeah, I was a little selfish but whenever I approached you to reveal the truth, I would see you melt into a warm smile just at the sight of me. A smile that never crossed your cheeks any time of the day unless you were with me. It was so overwhelming for me to know the fact that I would be the cause for the destruction of the most beautiful smiles in the world.