Catharsis [Tom Riddle]

Chapter Fifty-Four

Avalon scrambled out the door, her vision blurred behind her falling tears as she bolted down the hall, desperate to get as far away from that bloody room as possible.

Traitor. Traitor. Traitor. Traitor.

An absolute fucking traitor.

She couldn't breathe. Her lungs felt as though they were filling up with poison every time she took in a breath, her harrowing sobs raking through her body as she sprinted toward the castle's exit.

Fresh air.

She needed fresh air.

The hallways were empty, most students having retreated to their dorms for the evening. But as she ran through the isolated corridors, her eyes were plagued by visions of her past. Memories of how bodies had been scattered all along the ground, discarded into motionless heaps everywhere she looked. Eyes that would never see again, hearts that would never beat again-- infinite casualties of a war that ravaged through the very place she had called home for so much of her life. Everywhere she looked, she saw the lingering reminders of those who had died in those very halls. Those who had given their lives fighting in a war to protect the innocent. Those who she had betrayed.

Traitor.

She shoved past the castle's entrance, running outside until the cool night air flooded her lungs and she could finally let her sobs echo through the silence.

Silence.

She fucking hated the silence.

Nobody was around, but she wouldn't have cared even if people had seen. Because it didn't matter anymore-- none of it mattered. She had failed. When all was said and done, she couldn't bring herself to kill Tom Riddle.

He was her greatest weakness.

She stumbled away from the door, her feet carrying her around the perimeter of the castle until she couldn't walk any further. She slumped against the wall and slowly slid down onto the ground, her shoulders shaking as she let out all her anguish and desperation.

It hurt. Everything hurt. And what hurt the most was that the pain wasn't physical-- it was much deeper. It felt as though her very soul had been ripped apart. And there was no healing spell or potion that could do anything to help her.

Loving him was the most painful form of self-destruction.

And yet she fell for it time and time again because that was precisely what love is. Vulnerability. Accepting the heartache because the alternative is unfathomable. Falling-- time and time again-- no matter how battered and bruised she became. Her heart was his and no matter how much she wished she could take it back, it was no longer hers to protect.

She had never quite realized how intertwined she had been with him until the moment came for her to have to let go of him. It was impossible. Because despite everything, they were one in the same. The same bleeding heart, the same broken soul, the same selfish love.

"Ava?"

Orion peaked his head out from around the corner, his eyes widening when he saw the broken girl before him. Having said goodbye to his own girlfriend just ten minutes prior, he had been waiting around the greenhouses to ensure nobody would see him and Clara walk back together. But, Avalon's sobbing was the last thing he had expected to hear on his trip back to his dorm.

He ran over, quickly sitting down beside her and wrapping his arms around her trembling figure. "Shh," he whispered, holding her tightly to his chest, resting his chin atop her head. "You're okay. It's going to be okay."