Hidden Emotions|| Harry Potter x reader

Chapter 20

"You are my daughter! I didn't have a choice!" He yelled. You saw how he was getting desperate to reason with you. 

"Yes you did! Everyone has a choice," you countered. Your heart pumped in your ears, your breaths were shallower every second. "You just chose the easiest. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go look for the people that were with me more than you ever have." 

"Please, let me explain-"

"Explain what exactly? How you spent years not knowing about your daughter and going off on a killing spree? With that monster? Or how you didn't even bother to say goodbye?" You felt tears sting your eyes but you couldn't suck them back in anymore. "You know how many nights I waited for you in that cabin? Waiting, waiting and waiting for you to come with open arms and to tell me that you were never leaving. You know how many times I told myself you and mom were just in a little trip at the forest but coming back? Years! Even in that sickly orphanage I spent a couple of years at before going to Hogwarts. I didn't have anyone to talk to. I was alone! But, as long as you stayed alive it was worth it wasn't it?" 

Your dad sobbed, his wrinkly hands covering his face. "I didn't want this to happen, your mother was supposed to stay with you," he mumbled, gasping for breath after a couple of sobs. 

"Well, she didn't. She followed you. I can't believe after all these years I had hopes of seeing you again. Ha! My naïve heart always thinking of the best but I was wrong. I continue to be wrong. I saw you and my heart is settled, you chose the dark magic over your own family," you scolded, your tears burning hot on your face. "I chose the side my heart has told me to do, too bad you don't have one. Let's go, Harry." You grabbed Harry's arm and turned him away from the pathetic excuse of a father you had. Harry was staring at your father, but looked at you with something glistening in his eyes. He was tearing up hearing about how you felt towards your dad. 

You turned to look at your father once more. You were angry and furious. You wanted to yell so many more things to him for making you go through all of that, but a feeling hurt your stomach. It was something you were quite familiar with to; guilt, it was eating you up, turning that resentment into pity. You hated it, you hated knowing that deep down, you still loved your father. You swallowed back a sob but Harry saw right through you. He went back to your father to your surprise, and put his hand on his back. 

"Harry? What are you doing?" You inquired, rubbing the tears off your face now. 

Harry lifted your father from the ground, his weak limbs barely giving him the support to stand for himself. Harry had an apologetic look in his eyes and he stared at you. You knew that look, it was his "You need to give him a chance" look. You shook your head but seeing your father so weak and old, tug your heart into a tug of war of dilemma. 

Your father raised his head. His brown eyes soaked with tears and his red nose sniffing as he tried to control it. He let out an exhale and knew it was his time to explain. "Y/n, just listen to me please." 

"Just tell me already," you urged, balling your fists as you resented Harry for giving you that look. 

"Let me tell you exactly how it happened. I was in the forest, trying to grab a couple of berries for the picnic we planned. While I believe you were in the cabin, sleeping I assume. Someone apparated in the forest and I told your mother to stay with you. There was this weird silence as I went there. Then, your mother followed me after saying she left you a note to not worry. The man... It was Voldemort, he was looking for someone to help him with "a little problem" he said. I didn't know what to do and your mother was pulling me to go back. But, I didn't. I was staring at him, trying to debate whether or not to go to him. He was getting impatient and he threatened me to take you away from me. That was when your mother stood up to him, yelling at him for saying such things. He killed her, right in front of me. He laughed at her twitching body while I cried over her. She was my wife, how could I not? Then that's when Voldemort told me to join him or something will happen to you too. I had to join him or else he was going to kill you too and you were so little.

Even during that time I was his "follower," I still watched over you. I was there supervising your time at Hogwarts and I yearned to finally see you again. I had to do it, y/n, I'm sorry. But, I was always there with you."

You let out an exhale, your hand shaking rapidly as your heart was being torn out of your chest with every word he said. You swallowed, destined to ask more questions to clear your biased view. "What were you ordered to do while you were in You-Know-Who's little club?" You asked. 

"I was in charge of taking care of some of the prisoners in Azkaban," he replied, a small smile on his face. 

Harry gasped and the both of you shared a confused look. "Did you know Sirius Black?" Harry asked, a hopeful look on his face. 

Your father nodded. "I was in charge of that block actually. I was always amazed at how he hasn't gone insane as most of them have. I was one of the only watchers who didn't treat him like crap. We shared a friendship actually, while he stayed twelve years there. He told me all about his Hogwarts years, the friends he knew-"

"Did he tell you about my father and Remus?" Harry interrogated, his curiosity escaping him. 

He replied, "Yes, he talked all about James and Remus. Sometimes even Severus, telling me about how he was the pinpoint of all of the jokes they made. He even told me about the real story of your parents, Harry. I believed him and he believed me when I told him what happened to my family. He told me off for leaving you," he directed his gaze at you, "I'm guessing he told you about me?" 

You shook your head, completely bewildered at his response. "No, he never told me about you. Wait, he told me that it Azkaban wasn't that bad as he had a cell mate that looked an awful lot like me when he met me- That was you, wasn't it?" He nodded a dark gloom settling on his chest. 

"I'm surprised he didn't tell you about me." 

"There was really no approaching that topic, was there? Hey, y/n, did I tell you that I met your father in my time at Azkaban?" You mocked, rolling your eyes at him. 

Your father chuckled and said, "Well, it doesn't matter, he was the one who told me about you." 

"Did he really?" You asked, looking at Harry. You thought Harry would know about it as well but he only shrugged. 

"Yes, he sent me letters telling me how you were an excellent girl. He told me about your fun times at Hogwarts. The friends you had, all about you and Harry as well." You sneaked a glance at Harry and the both of you were a little wide-eyed when you both shared eye contact. "And how you reminded him of me. He told me that you were a little sarcastic and sometimes blunt. But, he said that you had a heart of gold and that you were extremely stubborn," your father said, he chuckled wetly. "You got that from your mom." 

"Got what from her?" You asked, a little knot on your stomach. 

"The stubbornness and your heart. You always put people before yourself and never thought twice about helping someone in need. You spoke your mind, just like she did, all of the time. You are ridiculously brave, I've been told by the amount of stories Sirius wrote to me." 

There was a moment's pause but your heart was starting to float in the sea of resentment. "If Sirius was killed by Bellatrix, how did you know about me these past couple of years?" You asked, knowing that the topic was a little sensitive to both you and Harry. 

"Remus took his spot," was your father's answer. 

"Lupin?" You gasped, not knowing what to think anymore. Like if a sudden bucket of ice water was poured on you, you realized where you were again. You were in the Battle of Hogwarts and you rapidly looked around you, watching the valiant students fight with the dark ones. "There's no more time, we should go. Now, Harry." 

Harry nodded looking oddly calm. He walked over to you and held your hand and squeezed it. He knew how hard it was for you to talk to him, he just wanted to let you know that he was there for you.

"How can I show you that I am truly sorry and that I regret everything I have done," your father begged. 

You turned around and said casually, "I would hear you out if you can promise me to never sacrifice yourself like that again." 

"I promise," he lied.