𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐒𝐢𝐧 (𝟏𝟖+)

𝟑𝟐 || 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡

"I'm tired of this" I sighed, leaning into my chair drawing his attention. I felt my cheeks turning red. I'm fucking furious. "I'm trying to help you because I fucking care about you, but you keep pushing me away"

It's always like that with him. We take one step forward and then he takes a few steps back.

"I'm yours Amera, more than you can even imagine"

His words haunt me since last night. I know I wasn't that drank to hallucinate, he really said that and after that, he kissed me. I've waited to hear these words for so damn long and when I thought we're moving forward.... he just pushed me away and It's fucking hurting me.

He shook his head once again, clutching the fork in his hand tightly, his veins popping out. Whatever happening is something that worries him and that means it worries me too.

"Please, Alexander ... talk to me" I whispered, breaking my voice, at last, placing my hand on top of his, and I felt him relax under my touch, and his grip softened, staring at our hands.

How such a simple touch can make my body so weak? kissed this guy last night and I felt fucking nothing from a full make-out session but here I'm just holding Alexander's hand and my knees are getting weaker, while at the same time I can feel the damn butterflies in my stomach.

"I don't know how much longer I can do this" he sighed, his voice tired. "I feel like I'm losing my mind."

I stared into his handsome face without saying anything, letting him take his time and tell me everything he's comfortable sharing with me. His jaw clenched tightly, and his gaze was fixed on our hands, avoiding my eyes.

"Everything was so easy before you showed up " he admitted and my body tightening at his words. "Being with Stephanie was easy, enjoying my family was easy, pretending to be happy was easy, but you showed up and everything got so fucked up''

Instinctively I squeezed his hand, my whole body shuddered at his words. I stared at him with shock is written on my face. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out of it. Damn, I'm speechless.

I knew that wanting him is wrong on so many levels but hearing incoming from his mouth is a different kind of pain. Much much deeper.

"I'm sorry" I said almost so faintly that I'm not sure if he heard me as I looking down at the ground completely embarrassed, but I felt his eyes burning my face this time. I'm so pathetic.

Fucking a married man was too low even for me.  But having feelings for him I couldn't even describe is the lowest point in my life.

"It's not your fault, Amera" His low, tired voice made me look at him sharply, with a confused look, and he just sighed, running his hand through his hair.

There was hesitation written on his face, as he opened his mouth several times to speak, but he closed it each time unsure if it's the right thing to tell me what was on his mind. He parted his lips looking back at me, his eyes now dark black.

Then he finally spoke.

"I didn't marry Stephanie because I loved her."

DADDY SAID WHAT? EXCUSE ME?

Did I hear right? Am I dreaming right now, because it feels like I fucking do? Nah, I must be hallucinating.

"I married her because of my father" he continued as he sighed with relief, but I was still stunned, staring at him like a dumb idiot.