One more.

One more night.

She doesn't sleep tonight.

Her brother is screaming again. He has problems with people again. They told him to beat him, he's too scared to sleep but somehow he falls asleep at 1.

She's looking after him every 30 minutes he can't let him be alone. Finally he's sleeping and she can do her homework. It's often like that.

She has to care about the household and the siblings and has to go to training. Often, she's at home at 11 o clock. She eats something and makes her homework.

For a long time now she doesn't get enough sleep.

But that's alright.

She has to be best one. Better than everybody other. She wants to be the best, she doesn't want to disappoint herself, doesn't want to disappoint her parents.

After looking a last time in his room and assuring he's asleep she goes in her room again, let's a sight out and tries to focus on her homework. She considers her homework and decides to start with some German studies. Her assignment says she has to write an essay at least 500 words, but cause she's the best, she put a few hours in it and ends with 10 papers.

It's good she thinks, she's a bit proud of herself.

She yawns but forces herself to stay awake, doing maths homework. After another two hours it's already 4. She considers whether she should make something else or go sleeping. Deciding to do biology and to not sleep this night, she quickly goes downside and take something for a late night snack.

She spends nearly one hour for biology and after finishing it, closing her last book for today she decides to watch the sunrise. On their roof she lays down, this time without music, she wants to hear nothing and watches the sun rising.

The sky is painted purple and pink, red and orange, it's so unbelievable beautiful, she wants to keep that picture forever.

Her handy makes a noice and she knows it's time to go downstairs again. 5 mins later she lays in bed on time, 10 minutes or so her mum comes in to wake her up.

"Good morning sunshine"

She feels so tired.

"Rise and shine"

She realises she has nothing but a shirt on, where her mum could possibly see her wounds, so she just grumbles something with only a few more minutes. Her mum lets her alone, going to wake her siblings. She looks straight on the wall for a few minutes, than standing up, making her bed ,putting a ponytail on because her hair are annoying her and lastly putting a hoodie on, to go downstairs and taking something for breakfast.

Nobody sees her eye bags, she has the luck of heredity, she never looks tired, even tho she is, she's so much more tired than in a long time.

She hurries up as hearing already her siblings coming down, eating all up, finishing just right they're in the kitchen. With an excuse she rushes at her room, closing her door and letting a deep breath out.

Feeling numb, as always , she packs her school back, she goes down and says goodbye to her family. Today she goes a bit earlier to school, she has to buy weed again, in the last few weeks she smoked a bit more. But than again she thinks she doesn't want to get addicted and additionally she's even not in the mood for it so she writes him a short message she hasn't time today. Maybe he's annoyed now but she doesn't care.

She doesn't care at all.

She doesn't care about anything,
not her life, not her mood, not her feelings, about nothing.